Time Passages

Well I'm not the kind to live in the past

The years run too short and the days too fast

The things that you lean on, are the things that don't last

Well it's just now and then, my line gets cast into these

Time passages

There's something back there that you left behind.

Time passages

Buy me a ticket on the last train home tonight

-  Al Stewart, Time Passages

On Saturday, May 21, 2016, my line certainly was cast into some passages. A little background is necessary. Bonnie Brae Farm for Boys is celebrating its 100^th anniversary today, and much to my amazement, I was asked to be a speaker.

I was greatly honored. Bonnie Brae is a place where I found safety and sanity between 1959 and 1963. The draft of the speech will follow, but I wanted to share some of the moments today.

Judge Harry Osborne in 1916 started a haven for us troubled boys. The judge questioned the effectiveness of locking up teen boys instead of providing a place where they could overcome their issues and be productive members of society.

Two of the men I played football with in those days were there, and others joined us as we spoke of a time long ago and far away. In that time, the late ‘50s and early ‘60s, we were perceived to be the dregs of society. But you know what? We all have college degrees and several of us have master’s degrees. A few of us became ministers.he Instead of being burdens, we are successful men making a contribution to our community.

Myself (left), Gary Minion (center) and George Tate. We played football for the Bonnie Brae football team and later at Ridge High. George is in the school's hall of fame. We each grew up a few years apart. Back in 1959, Gary was at least six inches taller than me, and I was a couple inches taller than George. But as we all had growth spurts and this is the result.

We are proud of our heritage, no longer ashamed of being different. As a younger alumnus who spoke said, ”I’m awesome!”

Some random thoughts along the way  -- I was asked by one of the residents who were parking cars if I was an “illumini”? I had to explain that illumini are authors of original ideas that create value; while alumni are people who attended a school.I didn't try to go through the difference between alumni and alumnus 

The dining room we ate in has been converted into a theater, but most of the men who were there in my era still called in the dining hall.

This is a rendering of the proposed new 18-room cottage, We slept four to a dorm room while the new cottage will have individual rooms.

Today, it featured a display of a proposed 18-room dorm. I lived in cottages with four bedrooms with four boys each. These boys will each have their own room.

The alumnus who gave the invocation is the pastor of a Mennonite church located next to the gym where I work out. I’ve been looking for a church where I’m comfortable in. He invited me to join them tomorrow. Perhaps I will.

Because I was a speaker, I was considered an “honored guest.” I thought how in 1959 I considered myself a 10-year-old juvenile delinquent.

When I wrote the words I shared, I considered it to be a speech. Many people congratulated me on my “testimony,” a word that is often used in church when people share what God has done in their lives. I suppose it was.

I thoroughly enjoyed the drum corps that Bonnie Brae has in place these days. Did you know they represented New Jersey in President Obama’s inaugural parade?

The Bonnie Brae Drum Corps has marched in President Obama's inauguration, the only band from New Jersey in the parade.

Bonnie Brae was originally a working farm. It sold off its farmland after I left, but many shared the memories of the farm. When I was introduced by the grandson of the founder, he had just spoken of the chickens we raised. As I stepped up to the microphone I said “and cleaning their coops wasn’t very much fun” to much laughter.

We had a buffet, with much variety. In addition to hot dogs and burgers were sausage and peppers, chicken and many salads. It was easy for a diabetic like myself to find plenty of food, not to mention diet cola.

There was a game area set up for visiting children. I watched one boy, somewhere around 9 years old, try over and over to sink a foul shot as the current residents kept giving him the ball while coaching and encouraging him. The venue was the same as an ice rink/basketball court where some of the older boys did the same for me more than 50 years ago.

I lived at Bonnie Brae at a time when the ice rink/outdoor basketball court was installed. In the foreground is the dedication plaque.  the venue was used for a children's game area Saturday.

Unlike in my time, Bonnie Brae boys do not go to public school. Their school is self-contained and has many activates such as an ultra-modern video studio.

I did not realize it, but there is an alumni association that I will be joining. We already started talking about re-working their website.

When I submitted my speech, it ran about 15 minutes. I had to cut it to five and while it made sense, I’ve decided to print the entire speech. There’s too much in it to ignore.

* * *

Good Afternoon, I am very honored to be asked to share with you today.

My name is Michael Munzer and I was a resident from August 1959 to January 1963.

Bonnie Brae’s structure was very different then. We were a working farm. And many of us were involved in the agricultural part of Bonnie Brae.

Behind Osborne Cottage, the only surviving building of four Tudor-style cottages we lived in, was a chicken coop where I helped feed the chickens and gathered their eggs for the dining hall.

Osborne cottage is the last of the oreginal Tudor cottages we lived in.

Boys mowed down hay, and harvested corn. We sheared sheep, took care of pigs, fed and sometimes milked the cattle that gave us our milk. Some boys even slaughtered the animals that were served in the dining hall -- and somehow coped with the nastiest flock of geese who made it their mission to attack in numbers every time one of us would get too close. One of my greatest thrills was being allowed to ride a tractor for the first time with an older boy as we cleared a cornfield.

Between what was once the administration building and the swimming pool were cherry and apple trees. The apples were turned into a wonderful homemade cider. But we frequently climbed the trees to grab some fruit. If we were caught, we were fined.

The area between the administration building and the pool once contained an orchard. Alas, only one tree remains. 

At a talent show Pee Wee Clark and a couple of others did a quick skit. Pee Wee was caught picking an apple by Coach Macomb Billows.

“That’s going to cost you a quarter,” the coach said. Pee Wee’s response: “What? I can get them cheaper in the store.“

Life on the farm was far from ideal. We came here as troubled boys. It was well before Bonnie Brae’s current mission of working as a special education school. My story is fairly rough, but typical for those days.

You have to understand that in the era when I arrived, our society was very conformist and nuclear families was the norm. Single parent families were made to feel like outcasts.

Four years before my arrival, my alcoholic, drama queen mother staggered out of the house one afternoon saying, “Tell your father I’m leaving him.”

Unfortunately, she came back to take me with her. In four years, I lived in 11 different apartments, a transient hotel, plus several summer sleep away camps. And I attended six different school systems. By the time I arrived at Bonnie Brae, I had been in the juvenile system since the age of 10. I was definitely nuts and terrified of this strange new place.

But let me tell you the most important moment of my life. It occurred on the second or third day I was here. They had a football team for middle schoolers. Well, I liked to play football with my friends so I checked it out. They started off by having us run a couple of laps around the athletic field. Running laps certainly wasn’t fun and I told the coaches it wasn’t for me.

But a week later, I decided I needed to be a part of something. Most of the boys went to public school then. And I was confined to the small in-house school. I simply wasn’t ready to handle public school again but I needed to have friends.

I approached the coach and asked for another chance. And I got it. No one had ever done that before. I got bumped around quite a bit by boys who were a few years older and larger than me, but I stuck it out.

Photo of me after football practice taken by my aunt. Note the "old school" jersey made out of heavy wool. In the background on the left is a chicken coop i worked in.

I only got into one play that season. The other team, Manville I think, was punting. Coach put me in and told me to block the punt. I was so psyched up that I blasted past the lineman and the punter had a wild look on his face, as I was about to hit him even before he started to kick. He ran away from me, right into the arms of my teammates. The next year, I was a starter.

The game, the discipline of learning plays and techniques and relying on my teammates started me on a more balanced path. By the time I was a freshman at Ridge High, I even made the jayvee squad for a few games, though, with only 13 players, we probably had the worst freshman team in the history of New Jersey.

Football gave me a chance to be part of something greater than myself.  And it happened because Bonnie Brae gave a very troubled kid a second chance. 

And there was more than sports. There was consistency. When living with my mother before Bonnie Brae, I was cooking for myself because I never knew when my mom would get home – at the age of 10. Here, we got three great meals every day. And at each meal, Mr. Persico, the director, kept us well informed of goings on at the farm. To this day, I still use the grace we said at every meal:

For our homes, our Lord’s blessings, our lives, our health, 

our food, our father we thank thee, Amen. 

Best of all were the houseparents. I started with Mom and Pop Wolfinger. Like most of the houseparents, they were imported from the coal country of Pennsylvania. They taught us traditional values, and enforced them. At first. I regarded them as my jailers, but over time I was treated with kindness and, most of all, consistency.

While each set of houseparents in the four cottages I lived in had different styles, they were all fair. And they lived with us. They had an apartment right in our cottage. And they took care of things like laundry and other needs, just like regular parents.

 After nearly a year studying at Bonnie Brae’s small in-house school, I was allowed into the Bernards Township school system, where I prospered athletically, academically, socially, and intellectually. More importantly, I was with the same group of students for four grades and I developed friendships with people I am still in contact with today, thanks to social networking.

There was so much more I loved about Bonnie Brae. In the summer, there were weekly trips to various shore destinations. I loved the Steel Pier in Atlantic City where we saw Brenda Lee and Bobby Rydell entertain. Those were top acts in that time. And, does anyone remember Palisades Park.

Bonnie Brae also gave me leadership opportunities. To my knowledge, I was the only boy to ever reach the star scout rank. I was made senior patrol leader and was deeply involved in planning camping trips with the scoutmasters. And then I shared those skills with other scouts.

I also served on the Cottage Council representing Osborne. I was in 8^th grade then. I convinced the council to let the 8^th graders attend the dances in our library. But then I couldn’t get a date. I was rejected by three different girls, all of whom I had crushes on. Now simply crushed, I spoke with Mr. Persico about it. He suggested I ask a friend instead of a “girl.” And so I asked Valerie. One would think she was rather plain in school. But dressed up and made up, she was an extraordinary beauty. All the guys were jealous. Shortly after leaving Bonnie Brae, I invited her to a teenage nightclub in Morristown. On the way home, we shared our first kiss. And then several more. I’ll never forget those delicious moments of innocence. Thank you Mr. P!

I entered Bonnie Brae pretty much crazy. I left as someone who could be successful. And I needed the skills Bonnie Brae gave me. My mother soon returned to drinking and drama. I worked a lot of jobs in high school, mostly lifeguarding at the local Y, and doing other things like ushering at the movie theater and delivering chicken delight when I got a license. I worked most evenings simply to avoid the insanity. But by then, Bonnie Brae had given me the support and skills to deal with it. Many employers have commented on my strong work ethic and drive to succeed. I learned those things here.

I finished high school. Entered junior college and found my true calling in writing. I started as a part-time reporter for the Morris County Daily Record. After serving in the Army—which was fairly easy for me since I was used to regimentation – I wrote for newspapers in Morris County for many years. When my wife became pregnant, I began writing for corporations, such as Canon, about photography. I also worked for the inventor of the MRI scanner, providing advertising, sales and technical support.

While writing was my passion, I was in an auto accident and developed carpal tunnel syndrome. Unable to type for several years, and inspired by teachers at Bonnie Brae and Ridge High, I went back to college at the age of 43, getting both a bachelor and masters degree -- the first in my family to do so. And I had a second career as a teacher, including stints working with incarcerated students. I was fairly popular because I understood what they were going through. I gave them the fairness, respect and consistency I had when I was here.

When I retired about six years ago, I was living on Long Island. I decided to revisit my past. There is a huge difference between truth and perception and the first day out I returned to Bonnie Brae to meet with your outgoing director, Bill Powers. Bill graciously gave me several hours, talking about my time here and going with me on a tour.

It was wonderful to see the same things as well as the changes. Towards Metcalf cottage, there is a small field where we played baseball every day after school. I showed him where home plate was, and the tree we used for first base.

Cars were parked on a small field that we played baseball on after school just about every day. Unless, of course, it was snowing.

But I was in for an even greater blessing that day. As we talked, I mentioned how we had to say “Bonnie Brae” to the public school cafeteria cashier to get our free lunch. I told him how I felt so different from the other kids. Bernards Township is a very affluent community and we were the only ones who got free lunches. Bill told me that I was indeed different. But, my reaction to my circumstances was perfectly normal. It opened my eyes about a period where the shadow of an outcast was always behind me. And it gave me a feeling of peace I haven’t had in years. And so, nearly 50 years after leaving Bonnie Brae, this wonderful place is still helping me.

I’d also like to say a few words to those who are considering becoming donors. At the beginning of our time today, I mentioned I was, at the age of 10, already in the juvenile system. I grew into a productive member of society and in my retirement years I have travelled all over the country volunteering at state and national parks – giving back. It is also something I learned here.

And so, instead of being a career criminal due to spend many years in jail -- if I survived, I am honored to share my story with you. If you look at the anniversary logo, it says Bonnie Brae has served 10,000 boys and 10,000 families. And that’s also 10,000 people who were given the second chance that saved me and so many other boys. Donating to Bonnie Brae is simply a way to make all our lives better.

Thank you for allowing me to share and may God bless you as much as He blessed me by leading me to Bonnie Brae.

Signs of the times: The top sign was taken in 2010, but was also the same sign that's there in the early 1960s when I was there. Below is the new sign to celebrate 100 years of service.