Even at my age I don't understand women

I’m old, and I look it. If I walk into Friendly’s or Denny’s, I automatically go to the senior citizens part of the menu. I became gray prematurely and someone at a Wendy’s automatically gave me a senior citizen’s discount before I hit 50.

Looking old has some distinct advantages. People hold doors for me all the time. If I have an item or two at the supermarket, as often as not the person I am behind will absolutely insist that I go first. I have a bum knee and frequently go shopping using a motor cart. People ask me if I need help.

I have grown old enough to not care what anyone thinks about how I look. I recently re-grew my beard, which I haven’t had since I’m was in my 20s. It is a Santa-white and makes me look even older. But I like it. But there is a distinct difference between men and women about this. All it takes is a look into social networking sites like classmates.com and Facebook.

In my circle of Facebook friends, the guys have no problem showing themselves. Larry is a gray-haired folk singer who is sitting down wearing a tropical shirt with guitar in hand. George stands proudly in front of Mt. Rushmore, his dark skin in contrast to the presidents and his white hair matching them. I change my picture constantly, alternating photos of myself with cartoon alter egos on a near daily basis.

But older women are very different. Carol, a true beauty in school days, has a sketch. Yet the one picture I see of her in an album playing in the snow shows she has aged to perfection. Susy recently changed her picture. She was on a beach with her image in silhouette and a bright sandy background. Now there is a close-up of her face with huge sunglasses. And I remember her having beautiful eyes. Emily uses a cartoon to disguise her appearance. She is a little heavy and looks old. But she is a grandmother. She looks like anybody’s grandmother. Joyce puts herself in a group photo. The photo is small and can’t be enlarged like most FB photos.

Other women refuse to put up a photo at all. I suppose it is a generation thing. The young adult women tend to make funny faces with bizarre poses. To me, they look far worse. But unlike their older counterparts, constantly change their photos.

Anyway, I have to go now. I just found a photo of me when I was a child and can’t wait to put it on my page.