Saturday, December 22, 2018

The bullied and the ignored


I was a mid-year transfer into Morristown High School in my freshman year (1962-63). The first thing I remember being told is there was a crazy girl named Hillary who was obsessed about Charles Lindburgh, the first person to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean back in the 1920s. I had read Lindburgh's biography and thought little of it. He was a hero and should be admired.
It turned out, though none of us knew it, she was indeed suffering from mental illness -- she was a childhood schizophrenic. Yet she was also a genius. So I supposed many of us viewed her as eccentric.
A homeroom classmate of mine for those three and a half years, I just felt sorry for Hillary and sort of ignored her. The only time I remember being involved in a conversation with her was in front of my homeroom teacher with several other people. For some reason the size of her breasts came up. I remember her saying it didn't matter because no one was interested in her. I had no idea she was schizophrenic. But I was aware that certain girls bullied her, mocking her in the hallways and after school. Short and very wide at the hips, she had this unusual running style. I thought she used it to escape her tormenters. It wasn't until nearly 50 years later that I learned she was imagining that she was a horse galloping with other horses. But the thing that really impacts me in hindsight is that no one fought for her. No one stood up for her and told off those cowardly bullies. No one invited her to join them at a lunch table. No one invited her to parties or any after school activities.Hillary wasn't the only one who was bullied. Another home room member, Joyce, left school in the middle of the year after a night out of drinking and carousing. Her parents had sent her to a private school where she could pull herself together. But the rumor mill said she had gotten pregnant that night. It was completely untrue. I was with her, along with several others as we partied in Greenwich Village after the last night of our high school play. The fact is, she was a virgin.Anyhow, some horrible people sent Joyce's parents diapers. I am still amazed about how cruel high schoolers could be; how little sympathy we have for those who don't quite fit into the norm.Now all this was more than 50 years ago. But there are still those who attend high school who are bullied and tortured. I know a 10-year-old boy whose mother is a drug and alcohol addict and he has endured her insanity nearly all of his life. She had him place in a small Christian school where he grew to be accepted. But his mother lost custody and the youngster now has to enter a new school system. Who is there to befriend him? To help him, protect him and defend him? And he is now suffering from these things. He acts up frequently and refuses to participate in activities. He has family, but they have difficulty coping with him.For all these children, there is no one who will walk in his shoes. And those who who have will avoid the same road because they don't want to go back to a place of such pain.About eight years ago, I found out about Hillary's later life. I had made contact through Facebook with her sister, Paula. I composed a letter to Hillary that Paula read to her. Paula had told me she was living in a group home near Miami. I had asked if I could visit her and perhaps bring a couple of other classmates for a visit. Hillary wanted nothing to do with the horrible years she was subjected to. This was just prior to our 45th class reunion and I promised not to disclose anything about her present life. When our 50th reunion happened, she was listed as dead as a result of a third person who didn't know anything but what she heard from someone else. She wasn't – and it reminded me about how she had been ignored and mistreated by us.So I want to say this to you: Pick out one person who is considered an "outcast" and learn about them. Be the friend they need. It will benefit you far more than the outcast.Paula wrote an amazing tribute to her sister on Facebook that follows.* * *Hillary Susan Schiff was my sister’s full name. She was almost 6 years older than me. She was different. She was brilliant (asked to join Mensa). She could paint in both oils and water colors and could sculpt. Her favorite medium was simply drawing with a pen on paper and she drew almost constantly. She also wrote long rambling stories. Her love of music (show tunes and opera and classical) pervaded our house.My father made the molds for 5 of the major record labels so we always had the latest vinyl, gratis.As a childhood schizophrenic, she escaped into her own worlds that were less painful than the one around her. As a child, it was horses and dinosaurs. When the space program commenced, it was her love of all things related that provided her escape. She graduated Summa Cum Laude from Fairley Dickenson University but had no real skills to offer in the workplace. After a stint in Greystone, she was offered a job as a part time proof reader for a small publishing house in town. Like many schizophrenics, whose meds that keep the symptoms at bay have their own side effects ,she did not stay on them and fell back into her world.We had to have her committed in order to get her medical care for a growth on her neck back in 1996. That turned out to be salivary gland cancer. Luckily we caught it in time and after surgery and radiation she was cancer free for the rest of her life. In 1997 she entered into Assisted Living care in a small family owned facility in Ft. Lauderdale. They made sure she stayed on her meds and she could come and go as she pleased. She had friends, clubs, volunteered locally and finally a life. A few years ago, that began to change as Parkinson’s and dementia took over. This past summer we had to move her to a nursing home . In moments of lucidity, she knew where she was and gave up. She retreated further and further until she recognized no one.Hillary left us yesterday all too suddenly. Parkinson’s robs you of so many abilities and for Hillary, it was the ability to swallow properly. Yesterday, while resting in her chair she had an episode that took her very quickly.I sit here with very mixed emotions. I’m angry that she never had the life she should have had. I’m sad that she’s gone. And I am also relieved that she has left the world that caused her so much pain.I have no idea if she is in Heaven because God judges us all, but I can’t imagine that she isn’t. She suffered her entire life but never became bitter. She was a sweet soul and even though living with and caring for her for a lifetime was tough, knowing it wasn’t her fault made it a bit easier to endure.
Rest In Peace, Hillary. I hope you are enjoying your place in Heaven as your reward for such a painful life here. Kiss Mom and Dad for me. I love you and miss you already.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Memo to a fringe element of the me-too movement.

Memo

To: the female species
From: one somewhat pissed off old man
Subject: Know something about history and sex
Date: December 1, 2018

A joke from a 1960s Pocono honeymoon resort comedian: Two little children, one boy and one girl, are sitting near one another on an airliner. The boy says to the girl, who is about seven and a couple of years older than the boy: “look what I have, a new toy truck.”
“Little boy,” the girl replies, “I have a Barbie sports car.”
Well, being a boy, he doesn’t want a girl to top him so he says, “My daddy built me a swing set.”
“Little boy,” the girl answers, “I have a swing set next to the swimming pool my father had installed.”
This goes on for a while and finally the boy is completely frustrated. He tears down his pants and points to his little male part and screams “well I have one of these and I KNOW you don’t have one.
The girl runs away to her mother. In a minute or so she returns to the boy, pulls up her skirt and points to her little female part and says: “Little boy, my mommy told me that as long as I have one of these, I can get all I want of those.”

I really don’t give a rat’s ass if you like the joke or not. But you should. The joke, however, is a statement about sexual relations. And that is the woman has the right to choose where, when and with whom she wants to be intimate. Lately, the “me too” movement has exposed sexual abuse and we have learned it is far more common than we thought. But the “war” between the sexes has usually defined the roles of each sex. And that can be summed up in a three word sentence: Men pursue women.

Now I realize this isn’t true in many countries, especially in Asia. But let’s stick to the culture here in the United States.

Since the advent of the birth control pill, women were given the choice to have sex when they wanted it without the risk of pregnancy. It was the beginning of the sexual revolution and even today in an era of deadly STDs, an earlier form of birth control, condoms, is used rather than going back to our puritan values. But while we are doing things somewhat differently, there has been no turning back. And it still remains the woman’s choice. And men will continue to pursue women.

I understand this, and I endorse it. Why? Because in the courtship ritual, both the man and woman get to know one another. Now sex comes in several flavors: the one-night stand, the friends with benefits, recreational sex, affairs, and a course of developing true intimacy with the idea of a long-term relationship. And frequently the partners have different ideas of what is going on.

But the bottom line is still that the woman, other than in a criminal situation, is in control of the decision. Now don’t get me wrong, I applaud the goals of the ‘me-too” movement. But there are times when things get out of hand. And the controversy over the song “Baby, it’s cold outside” is simply way overboard.

Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a popular song written by Frank Loesser in 1944. It is a call and response duet in which a host, usually performed by a male voice, tries to convince a guest, usually performed by a female voice, that she should stay the evening because the weather is cold and the trip home would be difficult. While the lyrics make no mention of any holiday, it is popularly regarded as a Christmas song due to its winter theme.

Loesser wrote the song for his wife and himself to perform at parties. It’s intent was to advise guests it’s time to leave.

He sold the song to MGM, which used it for the 1949 film Neptune's Daughter.  It was sung by Ester Williams and Ricardo Montalban and won the Academy Award for best song. Since 1949 it has been covered by many singers. Here are some of the people who have sung this duet: Dean Martin, the cast of “Glee.” Zoey Deschanel, Ray Charles, Lady Antebellium, Willie Nelson, Kelly Clarkson, Rob Stewart with Dolly Parton, and my favorite, Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer.

I personally enjoy the song because it is so flirtatious. It’s truly a fun reflection of the late 1940s. The man is, of course, trying to get the woman to spend the night. Hey – news flash – that’s normal for today as well as 70 years ago!

The main lyric that seems to offend is the woman saying: “say, what’s in this drink?” News Flash #2 – There were no such things as “roofies” back then.

And let’s look at the entire lyrics. The woman is choosing to stay longer by having a drink, smoking a cigarette and other things. She is performing a mating dance with the guy saying things that were the norm for the time such as judgmental aunts and worried parents. But the fact is this song has, to my knowledge, rarely if ever been sung by teens or teen idols. It is a song for adults to sing.

So anyhow, what aggravates me is this wanting to ban a song goes way too far because people don’t understand history in general, the history of the song, and the values and mores of the time it was originally performed. Mainly after the second world war. And people were creating babies like crazy in those days. That’s why they call people like me baby boomers.


There are many, many other songs – mostly rap music – that deserve to be censured. But not this one. So anyhow, I simply ask the fanatical fringe of this movement to shut the hell up and let people enjoy a funny and harmless song. Ladies, get over it! 

Thanks for the platform to speak out.

Friday, November 9, 2018

Political Mania

As many who know me are aware, I am mildly bi-polar. When I get depressed, I tell myself “this too shall pass” and it does. But when I become manic, it’s like I can’t stop myself. When I was working, there were many times when I stayed up all night, often several days without sleep until I crashed.

For decades, doctors thought I was suffering from depression. But a great doctor at my university finally figured out I was bipolar when I showed up in manic mode. All those anti-depressants were literally driving me insane. It took more than a year to get the right balance of medication, but it’s been good for nearly a decade now – not perfect, but much better.

Why am I saying this? Because I believe the political situation of the past two years has become a manic obsession for my friends. I recently suggested people take a weekend off from writing about politics for the weekend. In the wake of the incredibly emotional election we have just gone through, I thought that taking a couple of days off from the chaos would help everyone.

See, it’s my belief that all this political fighting has gone from “discourse” to “hate” and now “rage.” Any shrink, or a person with common sense, will tell you that being filled with rage is unhealthy for you. I see people on both sides of the political spectrum simply can’t give it a rest. The pushback I got from friends for the suggestion implied that I was trying to shut them up instead of simply taking a couple of days to purge the emotions and say nice things.

Any shrink, or a person with common sense, will tell you that being filled with rage is unhealthy for you.

I came to this conclusion when I realized how much this crazed me. I started calling real friends – not just Facebook friends – Nazis. You don’t treat people that badly. I realized that I was just adding to the anger that so infused my Facebook newsfeed. It was more than enough. I decided that I had hundreds of photos I had taken during my travels, each one with its own story, that I started posting a “photo of the day” instead. I easily have more than enough to last until the end of 2019.

Some of the photos are merely “liked” while others have stirred comments from friends about the memories we share.

So my contributions for about the last three weeks have been generally positive. The only political posts I have made were urging people to vote or shut up. I am hopeful now that the Democrats have taken back the House that the more extreme things Trump does can be stopped. And I am willing to let go for a while and let these people do the work instead of me. When Trump’s minions took control of the government, I felt that it was our obligation to fight because we were not represented. Now we are to a degree that we can halt the insanity.

What I really hope is that because the Republicans took such a beating in the election that they will back down from their extreme positions and spend the next two years trying to reach some sort of legislative accord – or face losing their seats. Things like robbing children of their birthright citizenship need to disappear. If you are the descendant of grandparents or great grandparents from the great immigration waves of the 1890s to 1910s, your parents may be citizens only because they were born here. Few immigrants of that era applied for citizenship. My mother and her sisters certainly are birthright citizens. And my grandmother shares a grave with a husband who was one of Teddy Roosevelt’s “Rough Riders” and who fell in the last month of the First World War.
 I am hopeful now that the Democrats have taken back the House that the more extreme things Trump does can be stopped. And I am willing to let go for a while and let these people do the work instead of me.
Anyway, I digress. The fact is I care about my friends – especially about their emotional well being. Most of us recently celebrated our 70th birthday. We are going downhill physically. But so see so many of them in an emotional state that is extreme bothers me. I also suspect that as retirees, we are looking for something to contribute and have too much time on our hands. In some respects, we have become the cranky old people we never dreamed we would become. 

By no means, do I advocate censuring them. I simply want people to lighten up a bit. Draw down the battle lines. Americans have far more in common than our differences. Yes, I hate the rise of racism. People must stop this. But we can all be better than what we have become. We must remember that we are out of many, one.
Americans have far more in common than our differences. Yes, I hate the rise of racism. People must stop this. But we can all be better than what we have become. We must remember that we are out of many, one.
But this will not happen if we continue to take extreme stances and discard the opinions of others as wrong. We insult one another and we will never become a society that works together. And we will die of stress-related diseases.


I just realized that I’m stressing out about my friends.

Monday, September 3, 2018

A fool and his money are soon elected.


We are a divided nation.

We have replaced civil discourse with bitter fighting, name calling and extremism on both sides. Never has this been more apparent with the death of Senator John McCain. He was praised by former presidents for his honesty and willingness to compromise for the good of the country. But he appears to be one of the last of his kind. There are Democrats willing to compromise, but there is little evidence that will happen. And you are the only ones who can change that.

How did we get this way? I’m a history major and a journalist. I think I know to some degree. It begins with the emergence of the tea party.

Anyway, back around 2009, I started running around the Internet looking at various articles ranging from the New York Times to Newsweek to Fox News. And during the party’s first rally, keynoted by Sarah Palin’s speech that was much talked about, she overshadowed the other speeches and I learned that the movement has more than its share of fanatics.

The Birchers – the reviving John Birch Society that finds commies and other enemies under every rock. In the 1970s, these were the ones who opposed fluoridation of water to prevent tooth decay because it was a commie plot to soften American’s brains. The Mitchell Trio’s lambasting song still applies. Hear it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG6taS9R1KM

The Birthers – they continue to insist that President Obama is not a citizen of the United States; even now that he no longer holds any office. And who but our current president lead that movement?

The Truthers – Those who contend the 9/11 attacks came from the political left and not terrorists.

The Oath Keepers -- with their rag tag militia following urging members of the military and police not to obey orders they feel are unconstitutional.

The Religious Right – originally, their main issue was abortion. But then it expanded to numerous other issues such as bring school prayer back. And many became very politically active. I had attended a huge superchurch and was active in youth ministry. When an organization about politics formed and was led by a man who had molested my ex-wife, it was time to leave – especially since the wife and I were probably the only Democrats in the church. I told many of them that the Bible says to help the poor and that while we had a food pantry, it was impossible for us to help everyone in the community who needed it. The only entity that could help was the government. But still they wouldn’t have it. “God helps those who help themselves,” I was told. The only problem with that is it isn’t in the Bible. It was the English political theorist Algernon Sidney who originated the now familiar wording. Benjamin Franklin later used it in his Poor Richard's Almanac (1736) and has been widely quoted.

Much of the Tea Party focus was in ultra-rural areas where there is little political power and people feel they are not part of the process.

The movement added Ruby Ridge fanatics and a gun-toting grandma ready to be at the heart of a new American revolution. "Peaceful means," she said, "are the best way of going about it. But sometimes you are not given a choice." (New York Times 2/16/10)

And, of course, the pro-gun people.

When I was a child of the ‘60s, being against both the Vietnam War (even though I was in the Army) and the corrupt Nixon administration, I liked to quote the declaration of independence:
"Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

But I learned over time that in this system of government we have survived both Vietnam and Nixon. It has survived George W. Bush and the Great Depression. It survived a civil war and the McCarthy era. It ended. Segregation. And, God willing, it will survive Trump and the Tea Party – or so I think.

But naturally, I may be probably wrong. Tea partiers infiltrated the Republican Party. They ran their own candidates against long-time conservative Republicans and quickly represented about a third of the Republicans in Congress. And they pledged two things: they would never vote for any new taxes, and they would end Obamacare.

But as they continued to invade the GOP, they were unaware of a couple of factors. Big business was quietly financing the movement, especially the multi-billionaire Koch brothers.
Naturally, there was also big money from the NRA and insurance companies. Personally speaking, I am infuriated that insurance companies are spending my premium dollars for political gain.

And they were weakening the GOP’s power base. Obama won the 2012 election by a greater margin than in 2008.

Since then, they have been engaged is a war that has shattered the old GOP. There are now three parties in Congress. Democrats and two factions of the Republicans

Then along came The Donald. Remember Him?

On the very day he announced his run for President, He did two things: he hired about 200 out-of-work Broadway actors to cheer for him. And he began his attacks on Mexican immigrants calling them rapists and criminals. It was the first of his lies and the first of bringing together the racists, many of whom were already open about it. From day one, he did his best to take over the tea party and the GOP.

Why did he run? Most political scientists and observers will tell you that he wanted to promote his business. But I think it was rage. A couple of years before, he attended a White House Correspondents Dinner. This has traditionally been a time to roast the President and other politicians as well as the press itself. Obama took a number of cheap, but hilarious shots at Trump as well as other speakers. Trump clearly had not expected such a pounding. I’m sure it led to his shouts of “Fake News” and the banning of some reporters, such as CNN, from the campaign.

Trump continued to appeal to his tribe. He said he would build a wall and the Mexican government would pay for it. He would ban all Muslims from entering the country. He would “clean the swamp” of people like lobbyists. He would run a government so clean and successful you would be tired from so much success.

And then things started coming out about Trump:
-Owing so much money those American banks wouldn’t finance his projects any more; he borrowed money from the Russians.

- It was a standard tactic for Trump to screw creditors through three bankruptcies. It was well known he was on a third marriage with children from all of them. Two of his wives were, in fact, immigrants. His current wife had violated the terms of her visa by working as a model when she was here on a tourist visa. Oh, and Trump knocked her up while he was still married to his second wife.

His followers simply ignored all this. He ranted about “Crooked Hillary” and his followers would scream “Lock Her Up!” even though she was never convicted of anything.
He begged the Russians to hack Hillary’s e-mails. Was this treason?
And he won – the electoral vote anyway.

So here we are about 20 months into the Trump administration. Have any of his campaign promises been kept? I don’t think so. But we have seen incredible chaos in the White House as people resign, are indicted or plead guilty to felonies. And yet Trump’s supporters don’t seem to care. They don’t care that Trump’s tariff war is causing unemployment and farmers can’t sell their crops. And his immigration war compounds it. For example, do you think that Florida is our main source of orange juice? Surprise, it’s Brazil. Trump’s war on immigration has resulted in farmers being unable to harvest their crops and oranges lie rotting in the orchards.

And can a name like Harley Davidson be any more associated with America? Not any more.

Trump has called for peaceful protestors to be fired. He has separated thousands of children from their parents. He is an unindicted co-conspirator in paying off a porn star and a Playboy model.

I do not understand why the religious right tolerates Trump’s personal behavior. And I have no clue what part of their agenda is being executed. “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” but why do we tolerate this? Most fundamentalist churches will not allow a divorced man to be in a position of leadership. How can they support this one?

Anyhow, it is Labor Day 2018 as I write this. There is an election coming up. I do not know what you will do about it. Will you ignore it as what happens in most midterms? Will you continue to support the GOP? If you do either you will have no damn right to complain.

By the way, have a nice day—unless, of course, you have other plans. 

Friday, July 20, 2018

Not my century's politics


Before you read this, beware. Much of what I have written is somewhat disjointed. I am doing  “freestyle” writing – whatever pops into my head. And like most of us, I find today’s political climate far more than simply disjointed.

***

My introduction to politics is as follows:

I was 18 years of age in 1965 and working as a lifeguard at the Governor Morris Hotel in Morristown, New Jersey. Despite being near bankrupt and sometimes unable to meet its payroll, the hotel was the site of a number of important events and parties, including my senior prom less than a year later.

But, I digress. I went to the kitchen to snarf a sandwich and there was Richard Milhouse Nixon standing with a couple of men in suits holding an envelope in his hands. The then former vice president glared at me as if I was J. Edgar Hoover and I beat a hasty retreat, sans sandwich.

***

I neither trusted, nor liked Nixon very much after that. It wasn’t until four years later, when I turned 21 and voted for the first time, that this experience came to mind and I voted for Hubert Humphrey in 1968. By that time I was a wannabe hippie and strong supporter of Eugene McCarthy and even stronger opponent of the Vietnam War. I thought of Lyndon Johnson as man of extreme courage, deciding not to run for re-election in the effort to achieve peace in the war that made little sense.

Several years later, of course, Nixon proved that he wasn’t very much of a leader after trying to invade Democratic Headquarters, perhaps a reminder of the situation with the Russians today.

In my lifetime, we have had an extraordinary group of presidents. Eisenhower, between playing a lot of golf, put together an Interstate Highway system and got us the hell out of Korea. JFK convinced a generation to do something for our country, made a commitment to space exploration and, despite fumbling, kept us out of a nuclear war. Johnson brought about the “great society” fighting poverty and ensuring our elderly had health insurance, not to mention overseeing the passage of the Civil Rights Act. Nixon, despite his many flaws, helped ensure a lasting peace with China. Ford held together the country in the aftermath of Watergate. Regan, who many thought spent his time napping in the Oval Office, quietly plotted the downfall of the Soviets. Carter, faced with the Iran hostage crisis and severe inflation, led the nation with humility. But then politics turned mean.

I suppose it started with Watergate. Nixon’s supporters fought tooth and nail for their man and never lost their anger about losing. They nearly toppled the Clinton administration over a sex scandal. And on the opposite side when George W became the subject of constant attack as he lead us into the great recession, they reformed as soon as Obama entered the White House as the Tea Party.

The Nixonites and their ultra-conservative descendants, remind me of southerners in the mid-1960s, still fighting the civil war in the face of segregation being trashed by the Supreme Court and legally destroyed by Equal Rights legislation.

But this is not about history. This is about today. This isn’t your politics of the 20th century. This is the politics of the digital age. We wonder if the Russians succeeded where Nixon failed in getting private information from the Democratic Party. And we wonder what impact this had on Trump’s shocking victory?

Until recently, I have enjoyed social media. I have connected with many old friends and classmates. I recently discovered a woman who I kissed when we were in first grade and that neither of us had never forgot that clumsy effort.  But the politics of social media has sometimes torn my ego to pieces.

Over the past year or so, I have had some medical problems, which have led to financial problems. I never dreamed of having them but as the pressure continued to mount, I have vented in a very inappropriate manner: focusing on politics in social media. My Trump bashing has gone from making fun of him to calling his supporters “TrumpNazis” and fighting them on every point. I sincerely believe those who support Trump, blindly it seems, have become like the Nazis following Hitler, although I’m sure some of them are very nice people, I’m sure.

For those who didn’t get the last line,
it is a joke of sorts. But anyhow, what I have come to realize that my Facebook friends, who do support the president, are people I truly care about. My favorite cousin and his wife; a former neighbor who was very kind; a young man I was a youth minister to who overcame a crazy father, and many more are on the right side. And I am very concerned that several of my friends on the left have lost their sense of self, spending all day sharing political posts while on their phone. Two years ago, I visited a man I consider my best friend. We have both given shelter and support to one another over the course of decades. Before smart phones, much of our time together has been filled with lively conversation and many, many puns. The last time I visited him and his wife two summers ago, we still had that. But there were many gaps, as all of us would have our noses in out iPhones.

In other words, all of us need to get a life.

At the same time, social media probably saved my life. Ten years ago, I was very lonely and socially isolated. My parents were dead and my relationship with my wife and younger son were not very good. I happened to go on Classmates.com and went to someone’s profile. Unknown to me, when you visited a profile on Classmates, they leave a note saying who visited you. Anyhow, I got a friendly message back and eventually I found myself messaging friends and others whom I hadn’t spoken to in many decades.

Suddenly, I had a support system. And when I left my marriage, I went all over the East Coast spending time with people. They helped me through a very vicious divorce and more. I now have about 125 Facebook “friends,” including friends, family, former classmates, lovers and people I have met throughout my travels. And while about 30 of those people are the ones I consider especially close, all of them are meaningful to me. There’s one former high school classmate who I rarely converse with who puts up encouraging signs nearly every day and I enjoy them immensely.

I really didn’t want, or need an iPhone. I bought it because I travelled a great deal in my RV and I used the “hot spot” feature to access the Internet from remote locales. But I slowly began to depend on it. My weather app defaults to wherever I am and I check it daily. I also have it programmed to where my children and some friends are.

Now, I do banking on line. I’ve written one check since in the last five years – to a campground that didn’t accept credit cards. I rarely use my laptop any more. It’s become a word processor. I do Facebook and e-mail on my phone.

And so I don’t know what to make of things these days. I don’t trust much of what I read on Facebook, yet today’s newspapers are useless in covering local issues. This Sunday, the Newark Star Ledger had a full-page story about an amusement park in its Morris County section, which consisted of four pages. The problem is, that this amusement park is about 80 miles away from Morris County. The rest of the “editorial” on the remaining three pages consisted of one small story about a charitable group, “events” culled from press releases about things like fundraisers, craft shows, etc. And the back was half a page of recent house sales and half a page of advertising. So I don’t rely on newspapers any more. I go to Google news, which contains a list of links to stories that come from semi-respectable news sources. Recently, I have discovered the “News” app on my iPhone that I check daily. I am a faithful follower of the local news programs from New York City television stations, switching stations after each half hour to get different stories. And of course there’s CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. While these stations are fabulous for breaking worldwide news, their never-ending panel discussions about politics make me want to puke.

Those who know me are aware I spent many years in print journalism, in local news and trade publications. Like most journalists, I make an honest effort to be fair and objective in what I reported. But I have often found that even on a local level, if I wrote something one side objected to, they wouldn’t speak to me. I always told those people that we publish all letters to the editor. The now defunct Daily Advance newspaper out of Dover, NJ had a policy that they would endorse people for political office down to local town councils. But only if the candidates came into the office for interviews. I had written much about one town I covered and members of the Republican Party would not speak to me. I had to beg and plead with them, telling them that we were prepared to endorse them and I would not be a part of the process. They came and they were endorsed simply because they were the best candidates. On the evening the endorsements were printed, I called the mayor to see how he reacted. We spent a good hour on the phone discussing journalism and local politics and if we weren’t friends after that, we were at least cordial.

I suppose what I’m trying to say that while there is little that is new in terms of ideas; the technology has changed our worldview. We have each become personally involved in the process, being afforded our own shot at discussing the news.

Like many oldsters (God, how I hate calling myself old, even though I proudly accept that mantle), I have a yearning for the “good old days.” I recently wrote a short story about what might happen if on February 20, 2020 at 02:02:02 (a.m.) the Internet collapsed. Some of us would get along just fine, not even being aware of it, while others would have us on the brink of Armageddon.

With the Internet down, how would I find things out? Good God, would I actually have to talk to people? Would I have to treat them with courtesy and respect? The thought can be terrifying.

But back to the political stuff: I just can’t ignore what is going on these days. Trump’s escapades and twitter rampages fascinate me as well as turn me off. Why he is doing this, I have no idea. But he reminds me of a Lilliput in Gulliver’s Travels jumping up and down demanding to be heard. I think that the Russian investigation continues to soil him because he thinks it invalidates his election victory. He seems unable to get over it. I find it ironic that he attacks so many of his critics when he spent the campaign in attack mode from the day he started. I just don’t understand him and alternate between thinking he is a child who never grew up and has genuine mental illness issues. Perhaps both?

After I ended my newspaper career, I would discuss politics with a few people and then go to the voting booth to have my say. But now I express myself through Facebook and a blog. I have no idea how many people read what I write on Facebook, but I am astounded that you, dear reader, are among well over 10,000 hits who have been here reading my sometimes pompous meanderings.

So having something of a voice, I want to use it to express myself. I hope that I make sense more often than not, so here I go as I eventually get to more than 2,500 words on this missive.

First, Trump has not kept his campaign promises. There is very little wall. Our health care is not very good. His promises to revive jobs in industries have gone down the tubes. I can’t think of one company more American than Harley Davidson who has been forced to operate out of the country due to the Trump tariffs. Trump campaigned in Chicago to end gun violence and visited Long Island to combat gangs. Nothing has changed.

I also feel his actions as president have been ineffective and actually hurt our country. He listened to victims of some recent gun rampages and people hoped that he might consider some common sense gun legislation. He said so but quickly waffled after the NRA pressured him. The way he has handled immigration has been an absolute mess. And I don’t want to begin about his recent European trip where he attacked our alliance, treated the British like pond scum and God only knows what happened with Putin.

I believe he is unfit to be president, but I also believe the Republican party is to blame. Republicans control the House and Senate. Conservatives will clearly control the Supreme Court. And yet they have been unable to work together. There is an ongoing struggle between Tea Party conservatives and mainstream Republicans. The top GOP issue for eight years was getting rid of Obamacare. The couldn’t do it. But they have managed to cut back social legislation all the way back to the Great Society of the 1960s.

And the bottom line is Trump supporters. They will defend him no matter how much he does to hurt the nation. The most recent is to overlook Trump turning his back on our own intelligence community and to try to divert the issue back on Hillary, who has not been in government since the end of Obama’s first term. I weep in frustration when I discuss what Trump said or did, and they don’t seem to care. There is a photo on Facebook showing people portrayed as Trump Supporters. The all-white group of mostly women express “the twisted logic of Trump supporters” with the following statements:

“He didn’t say that.
And if he did, he didn’t mean that.
And if he did, you don’t understand it.
And if you did, it’s not a big deal.
And if it is, others have said worse.”

Say the following very, very slowly: W----T----F----?


The Democrats are not exactly doing much either. Somehow, someone must emerge from the wreck of the campaign who is the antiTrump. They need a leader not named Hillary, Bernie or Elizabeth who can speak with a voice of reason and strength; someone who has a record of truth and honesty. They need a white and/or female version of Obama. And I don’t know if they can. Democrats can’t go through the primary chaos we have seen in the Republicans for the last three presidential elections.

And more importantly, right now, power must be wrested from the Republican majorities in Congress to prevent Trump from doing more damage. Hopefully a viable presidential candidate will emerge from that group. Baby Boomers like Trump have had their day. Change will happen this November. But it will be difficult to view and hope that there will be genuine change when billionaires like the Koch brothers try so hard to influence the elections. I sometimes wonder if they are more dangerous than the Russians.

Have a good day, unless, of course, you have other plans.' 

Monday, April 9, 2018

Would you know my name?


The great musician, Eric Clapton, wrote a wonderful song called “Tears in Heaven,” where he wonders what would happen if he met his dead child in heaven. The child died when she fell out of a window in his New York City apartment.

I’m sure the child’s death is the defining moment in Clapton’s life and I thank God that I have never lost a child. But my defining moment came in 1957 when I lost my childhood. I didn’t know it at the moment. I just have a memory of my mother swaying back and forth and saying, “tell your father I’m leaving” and she walked out the door of our little house and that was the end of my parents’ marriage.

They never got divorced and until the day my father died in the 1970s, I had hoped by some miracle they would reunite. Today, I found myself in family court looking at a couple who could have been my parents fighting over the children they share. They were never married and one of the parents has severe drug and alcohol problems. I look into the oldest child’s eyes and wonder how much he wants this nightmare to be over. I was about the same age when my parents split than this child is. We both went through hell. Kids, who haven’t even had two numbers describe their age, don’t deserve the crazies they get. They deserve childhood innocence. I still harbor bitterness about my parents, especially my mother. Today showed me just how much.

Anyhow there was a thought that slipped into my mind as I listened to the song. I’ve always viewed a part of heaven as a chance to laugh at our foolishness here on earth. My father died in the ‘70s and my mother in the ‘80s. What if?

What if they met in heaven and realized how foolish each of them was. What if the love they once had for each other suddenly emerged into flames and their unhappy souls were mended?

And what if they now wait for me to complete the circle? In my old age, I cry way too often and not nearly enough. The tears I shed now are cleansing and give me hope. I hope, for example, that my former wife and I will somehow realize how deeply we once loved each other and begin to be at least civil to the other.  I hope that the wounds we inflicted upon our children are somehow healed. Perhaps someday we too will meet in heaven and wait for our children.

For about 30 years now, I have not been afraid of death. If there is an afterlife, I wonder what it will be like. And if there is no afterlife, I won’t exist. But I have to disagree with Clapton that there will be no tears in heaven. I hope that tears of joy will flow like the Niagara River.

Monday, March 19, 2018

An Old Man's Road Trip


NOTE: I had written this in September 2017 but I simply forgot to hit the Publish button.
* * *
This is going to be a diary-type entry about my upcoming trip to South Dakota and beyond. I have been blogging about little but politics and I am tired of it. I suspect this blog will exceed 10,000 words and include quite a few photos. I hope I don’t bore you to death, but some of my friends are limited in their travel ability and get a kick out of my vagabond adventures.  Perhaps I should make it a book instead and post it as a .pdf file on my website.

Sept. 5
It is a week before a vacation for Emily and myself. Our primary destination is South Dakota. We will also go into Wyoming and Montana to visit National Parks.

South Dakota is my legal “home.” When I left my apartment in Port Jervis, NY in 2012 to go on the road in an RV, volunteering at state and national parks. I was technically homeless. South Dakota is a haven for “travelers” such as myself. With only a mail forwarding company as a legal address, one can obtain a driver’s license by submitting a current license from another state, a receipt from a local motel or campground for one night’s stay, a birth certificate and social security card. The fee for the license was $20 and you had to pass an eye test, all this was done at the local DMV and you could register your vehicles at the county treasurer. My driving license will expire with my September 15 birthday so I need to travel there to renew it. A major advantage is there is no state income tax and new vehicle registration taxes are just two percent. South Dakota relies so much on summer tourism that its sales tax goes from 5 percent to 7 percent between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Also, though I will probably owe no tax for the current year, I can file my NJ state income tax as an out-of-state resident and pay less.
 
The route to South Dakota gives you a choice of taking either I-80 or I-90. I choose I-80 to avoid Chicago traffic. While the miles are slightly longer, the time is about the same. But there are many construction zones along either route. Once in South Dakota, it's I-80 all the way towards other attractions including The Badlands, Wall Drug, Mt Rushmore, Custer State Park, Devil's Tower and Yellowstone. 
You can even vote, though I only use that privilege for national elections. There are about 12,000 people registered to vote through my mail forwarding company and though most are like me, there is an understanding that we will vote as a bloc against people who campaign against things that would negatively affect RVers.  With a bloc that large, RVers could control the city of Sioux Falls and possibly swing the election on a statewide basis. But most, like myself, feel unqualified to judge people who we don’t know. The state is overwhelmingly Republican and Conservative. However its residents do not really concern themselves with southern issues. The main political concern is gun control. Much of the population is farmers and guns are needed to shoot coyotes and other vermin who attack their livestock. And hunting and fishing are popular.

There are only two “cities” in the state, Sioux Falls and Rapid City, located on opposite sides of the state. Sioux City is near the eastern border, and is only minutes from both Iowa and Minnesota; and about an hour from Nebraska. Its population is about 175,000. Rapid City is on the western border. It is close to several tourist attractions, especially Mt. Rushmore. Its population is about 70,000. It’s close to the Wyoming and Colorado borders. Both cities are closer in appearance to the suburbs of Long Island and Northern NJ than “real” cities. The tallest building in Sioux Falls is 10 stories and houses the headquarters of an insurance company. The tallest building was once the local newspaper, from an era when newspapers were thriving. Most of the six floors are now rented. The state’s entire population, around 865,000, is ranked 46th of the 50 states, above neighbors Montana, Wyoming and North Dakota. That’s barely more than the population of Morris County NJ where I live.

In between are several small towns, farmland (mostly corn, hay and livestock – the hay is grown for the livestock), prairies and deserts. One of the more interesting things is huge national grassland that is leased to ranchers for their cattle. Back in 2014, I got caught in an early-October blizzard that left 4 feet of snow on the ground. I had no problems even though the power was out because I had a travel trailer whose batteries gave me light; and propane ran the refrigeration and gave me heat. But tens of thousands of cattle died and thousands of bison (wrongly called buffalo) also perished. Interstate 90 was closed for four days as prairie winds kept whipping snow back on the road after it was plowed. The place where I worked lost electricity and they had to throw out food for about a thousand.

I have some concerns, mainly money, about the trip. I only have about $700 available plus a few hundred in credit. But registering my car will cost around $300. That would have been enough for me to go to Sioux Falls by myself to renew my license and registration. When I travelled before, I slept in my travel trailer at rest stops accommodating truckers. Sometimes I sleep in the car at highway rest stops. It was rare that I stayed at a motel. I can only think of once in the last ten years and that was due to a snowstorm. Since I began working weekends a couple of months ago, I have made a few small dents in my credit cards, but I am still close to my limits. But Emily needs a motel, not only for sleep but also her morning showers. She is very fastidious. We have agreed to split the costs, but this is still going to put me back in the hole. The added trip to Yellowstone, with up to five more nights is a killer. Fortunately, my social security and payroll checks will be in the bank just about the time I will need them the most.

I am also concerned about Yellowstone weather. Snow comes early to the region. In the two seasons I have been in South Dakota in late September, part of the park was closed and roads can be hazardous. The forecast for the next ten days is fine with high temps in the 80ºs and 70ºs, and the lows in the low 40ºs and high-30ºs. But there is a steady decline over that period. Today, the high is 84º, but the high in 10 days is 71º. The lows will be in the high 30ºs when we arrive.  It’s going to be close. I will not go into Yellowstone with any snow on the ground at all. There are way, way too many accidents and people going off the roads even in the summer. The roads are contoured to the landscape and there are many sharp curves. In Wall, South Dakota where I spent the summer of 2014, temperatures were in the 70º on October 1. The next day began with rain that developed into a four-foot blizzard.

My main reasons for going with Emily are twofold: First, because she was injured earlier this year and was out for many weeks under disability and thus unable to go on vacation until next week. She works for a “use it or lose it” company regarding vacation days and she cannot carry over the days. So now is the only time she can take a vacation. The other reason is ongoing thoughts I had about sharing the wonders I saw en route. My travels on the road between 2012 and 2015 often increased my sense of loneliness when I beheld great beauty. I shared a lot of photos on Facebook and my blog, but it was still lonely. I strive to understand there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely, but the two often mixed. This sometimes lead to a mild depression. Most of that time I could accept my situation but I frequently wished either the ex wife or the present girlfriend was with me.

When I was married, we had discussed a summer-long adventure to national parks. I was teaching and would receive checks all summer. But as we started to talk about the trip, I wanted to stop off at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. But she was adamant about going to only the national parks. That ended the trip. I suppose we were both too stubborn. Each of us had to win.  I can’t help but wonder if we had that vacation if our marriage would have been saved. We hadn’t shared a vacation in years and the break would have been good for us.

Lately, this blog has been all too much about politics. I dislike Trump, but there is only so much I can stand about my complaints. I occasionally post something on Facebook, but usually it is to comment on other’s posts or share a funny image, somewhat akin to the political cartoons I used to enjoy in the paper. These days, like most people, I rely on the Internet and cable news for my information so I rarely see a newspaper. Emily has a subscription to the local paper, The Morris County Daily Record, so she tells me about local things. I don’t look at it too much because I used to work for it and it is a shadow of what it once was. I also don't read it too often because, among the many staff layoffs, a classmate of mine was let go after decades of service as a photographer  I sometimes wish that some rich person would run it as a “hobby” and not give a damn about profits. But I can’t see it happening without it turning into a political platform. Every time there is a major lottery jackpot, I fantasize about it. Like my writing idol, the late Jimmy Breslin, I can’t seem to get the old-style newspapering out of my blood. Of course, Breslin had a lot more talent than I ever did.

One of Emily’s concerns about the trip is my constant battle with diarrhea. Over the weekend, I had it for two days, practically staying on the toilet all night. I know, it’s way too much information. But this bout was especially long and messy. I didn’t make it to the toilet in time and wound up crapping all over the floor. Thank God it was tile and so I was able to clean up the mess. I called out sick on Sunday since I was going every 15 minutes. When I wasn’t going, I scrubbed the ceiling, removing mold that had been growing there all summer. Emily, who is barely 5 feet tall, couldn’t come close to reaching it, even on our stepladder. I was recovering from my shoulder surgery and couldn’t lift my arm above my head until recently. I went on a “BRAT” diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, tea) and I am fully recovered. But I only have half a bowel due to an abscess that developed when my appendix burst several years ago. I’m fairly sure that I can deal with it by strictly controlling my diet. God invented rest stops and fast food joints for a reason. :-D !

• • •

Sept. 6

There is a potential problem developing. We had arranged with Emily’s daughter to watch our dogs while we are away. She now tells us that she is expecting an inspection visit from her housing authority and dogs aren’t really allowed, though she lives in a house in the middle of nowhere. Anyhow, the inspection was scheduled for last week. She was home all day except for about ten minutes to pick up her son. Naturally, they came at that time. So if they do come before the weekend, her care for the dogs is fine. Otherwise we will have to take them with us.

Now we’ve gone on vacations with them last year to Ohio and Western Virginia; but we have had to pay up to $20 extra per dog at the motels. Both dogs, especially Pup, shed. I have to use a hand vac on nearly a daily basis to keep up with them. In addition, most of our motel stays will be overnight. We can’t leave the dogs in the room to visit someplace if we have to leave by noon. Our travel plans call for us getting out early most days anyway.
Pup (left) is my dog and a seasoned traveller but Emily's dog, Bella Mae can go hyper at any time. The cost of taking dogs along is in additional fees. Some motel chains welcome them for an extra $20 EACH,  while others won't accept them. 

We can go along with bringing them, but it would be nice not to have to deal with their care. We both could use a break. A couple of the places we are going to, especially Mt. Rushmore, do not allow dogs. They are, however, permitted to stay in the car. At Mt. Rushmore, the parking lot has multiple levels and putting the car in a lower level in the shade with windows cracked and a bowel of water gives them a safe enough environment.  But there are times if pup sees bison (not buffalo) he gets a little crazy. I suspect Bella will be worse if, like the last time I was there, she gets stuck in a bison-filled traffic jam in Custer State Park’s wildlife loop. She barks like crazy when people pass in front of the house walking their dogs. I also wonder how she will react to thousands of prairie dogs at Badlands National Park?

• • •

I rarely iron clothes. For vacations, I usually just toss what’s in the top of the dresser drawer into the suitcase and go on my merry way. But South Dakota is different. My clothes generally are tee shirts and shorts with a pair or two of jeans. But that’s summer wear. Mid September in the Dakotas is definitely not summer. Summer in the Dakotas often means temperature in the mid 90ºs to the 100ºs in the summer desert. But come autumn, the highs can plunge into the low to mid 60ºs. It is also the home of the “old west” with Wyatt Earp, “Wild Bill” Hitchcock and Calamity Jane hanging out there. Tees and shorts are not only too cold, but also a fashion faux paux.

Thus I am ironing. I think the last time I did so was Christmas in 2015. I have a collection of several “western” shirts from Wrangler. You know, the ones with two button down pockets. I have short- and long-sleeves in the same color, no less. Anyhow, they need to look good, along with my rawhide vest, three sets of cowboy boots, five different western belts, my bolo ties and, of course, my blue jeans.

The story of my blue jeans started when Emily bought a two pair of jeans from Kohl’s as a Christmas present. I really liked them. They had pressed creases and expandable waists. Anyhow, I got sick of the tattered jeans I had been wearing since my separation in 2010 and bought two more. But when I got to the register, the woman said I could get 65 percent off if I opened a Kohl’s charge account. Since the jeans cost $30 each, I could save $39 for the two. So I bought three more pairs -- all they had in stock of my size. All five cost $81 so I wound up with a bill I paid off the next month. I had better because they charge 25 percent interest.

Anyhow, I need to press all five along with the shirts in order to look decent. A few days ago, I took a trip to the local Wal-Mart looking for a “suiter,” (no not a potential mate). A suiter is a piece of luggage many businessmen who fly use. It can be hung in a closet and can hold about four suits or other outfits with your underwear and socks on the bottom. There’s even a place for belts and ties. Anyhow, back in the day when I was traveling, they were quite common. I couldn’t find one in the store’s luggage department. They didn’t have them at Kohl’s either and were priced way too high at Amazon. So I’m back to a suitcase. I don’t really understand. I haven’t worked in an environment where I needed a suit since the 1980s, but has the business world gone so freaking casual?

Anyhow, I’m ironed and packed except for personal things like my medicine, toothbrush, toothpaste, electric shaver, deodorant etc. I have what we used to call a dopp kit for those. I really miss the luggage I used wile in the Army. I loved my “AWOL” bag for weekend passes. Everything I owned fit into a duffle bag, though it got wrinkled. Many motels now have irons and ironing boards and there is a great coin laundry I used in South Dakota while I worked summers there. And I am definitely going “cowboy” on this vacation.

Gee, I’ve written more than 2,700 words and I haven’t even started the vacation. Dear reader, I hope I’m not boring you to death.

September 7

Frank, my friend and former boss loves to tell jokes. We worked for a Japanese ad agency that serviced Japanese clients such as Canon. He was the account supervisor and I was the technical//PR writer. This was in the 1980s before the Politically Correct Police began running amuck and making sometimes-senseless demands.

One of his worst jokes came out of the old west, when Chinese immigrants helped build the trans continental railroad. Anyhow, Jones, Smith and Chen were assigned to work on blasting a tunnel into a mountain. The foreman, Malarkey, said to them: “Smith, you use your pick and shovel to make holes in the mountain. Jones, you handle the dynamite and blow it in the holes Smith makes. Chen, you take care of the supplies.” A couple of weeks went by and Malarky returned to find a great tunnel well underway. “Boys,” he said to Smith and Jones. “I’m proud of you. This looks like a great Job.” And so Malarkey enters the tunnel and realizes Chen is missing. He asks Smith and Jones if they’ve seen him and they say Chen disappeared right after they were assigned the task. They continue walking to the rear of the tunnel when Chin jumps out and yells SUPPRISE! (In a fake accent more Japanese than Chinese).

What is the point of all this? Because on Tuesday night Emily had a real surprise. She had just come home from the doctor and she had to share something important. She was pale and nearly trembling. I immediately thought that she had a life-threatening disease. She didn’t. Months ago, she had a bad fall and received a horrible wound to her knee. She was hospitalized twice. The second time happened when her doctor tried to postpone and appointment. I took a picture of the injury, which as you see was horrible, then barged into his office showing him the photo. 

Thank God for smart phones. The doctor took one look at the photo of the wound and ordered her right back to the hospital.

That was months ago. Since then, she’s been seeing a number of doctors, including one who specializes in wounds. This doctor will drain and clean the wound. His hours are limited and he does not do evening hours. Emily has had to leave work early every week for her appointment. Two weeks ago, realizing it was a financial hardship; he said to skip a week. But Tuesday night when he cleaned the wound, he found an infection. This is serious stuff and Emily will have to see him every week. This voids out a trip west. SURPRISE!

The good part is that it is not life threatening. But there is no way she can go on a nearly 4,000-mile road trip.  That means two days of driving for each day of sightseeing. We’ve done trips to Massachusetts, Virginia/Pennsylvania and Ohio for a week, but because I am working weekends, we will probably have to stay fairly close. The fall foliage of the Poconos and the Catskills seem likely. It’s too late to do the Jersey shore. Emily hasn't been to New York City in quite a while. Sightseeing, a ball game, a show and other attractions seem like a good idea; and the senior discount on the train is far less than a motel.

In the meantime, there is still the original reason I wanted to go to South Dakota. My driver’s license is about to expire. I need to renew it. And there is a problem with doing it in New Jersey. In 2010, I tried to register a car in Jersey. In the middle of a bitter divorce, I was living (actually tent camping) in the New Jersey area I grew up in. I was going to use a friend’s address. However, when I attempted to do so, I discovered that sometime in the early 1970s that my driving privileges were suspended. From my memory, there was some sort of problem involving a minor accident where I paid the other person for the door handle I hit instead of going through my insurance company. Anyhow, I had to drive more than 100 miles to Trenton, the state capital, to resolve the problem, which it was. Shortly afterwards, I moved to New York and held a license from that state for more than three decades. Anyhow, I was told I had to go to either Wayne or Trenton to straighten out the problem. I suspect that as things became computerized the problem wasn’t properly entered. About the same time, an apartment opened up in the senior citizens housing in Port Jervis, NY. The town borders New Jersey and Pennsylvania and so I kept my New York license and registered the car there.

So, to make a long story short, I don’t know if I would be able to straighten the problem out by next week when my license expires. In addition, I can't find my birth certificate that I would have to present. 

I am going to renew in South Dakota for several reasons:
-     •It’s perfectly legal.
-     The state has no income tax
-     Auto insurance rates are lower
-     I only have to renew the license every five years. By the time the new one ends, I probably won’t be doing any more driving.
-     It’s been more than three years since I’ve been on the road by myself. I want to go take photos.
I expect that I will eventually get a New Jersey license. But it’s too close to the expiration date to try to do it now.

So, I have my bags packed with newly-ironed clothing. I’m still trying to figure out everything, but I know I am going. It will be a lot less expensive as I will use a coupon for a free night at a Red Roof Inn and probably sleep in the car other times. I’m also thinking of buying a cheap tent and sleeping bag and camp in state parks. But it’s been seven years since I’ve done that and the body will be 70 years old in eight days. Perhaps I’ll compromise and sleep in the car at a campground.

Right now, everything is subject to change. I have thought about going to the reading of the names at the World Trade Center on Monday, but can’t figure out if I can get to Sioux Falls on time. There’s also a part of me that says if I start after work on Sunday, I can make it to the Ohio border in about eight hours and stop to sleep in a rest stop around midnight. There is the possibility of Hurricane Irma going up the east coast and I don’t want to be around if it happens. It seems the thousands of dollars I spent knocking down Emily’s huge front-yard trees might pay off. Emily has in-laws near Scranton she can take refuge with if needed. The closer the day to leave arrives, the more eager I am.

FYI 1200 miles each way = 2400 total miles ÷ 35 mpg = 69 gallons x $2.50 per gallon = $171 gas costs. There will also be about $30 in tolls.

Sept. 9
Forget about leaving Sunday night. The Cowboys and Giants are playing! Go Big Blue!

There are also a few things I need to do on Monday before leaving anyway. I have to make a deposit in my bank account and then drop off some paperwork with my local school district.

Then I’m off. I expect to be in Sioux Falls by Wednesday night, which is about 500 miles a day. Including breaks for gas and food, that’s about 10 hours. My usual trek is about 400 miles per day.

I am very relieved that the Hurricane is apparently heading inland. While I know it will devastate Florida and Georgia, at least it won’t head up the east coast as Sandy did a few years ago. I did not want to leave Emily alone and I would have been very concerned about Matthew, my youngest son, who lives fairly close to the coast on Long Island.

The people I care about in Florida have a good chance of losing their homes. Larry is in the Miami area and major flooding is expected there. He decided to head inland, so naturally, the path turned right into his direction. Joyce is in Sarasota, which is located just south of the Tampa-St. Pete area. She reports that people are boarding up their homes and plan to ride out the storm. Her friend, Rhys, runs an animal rescue operation and is terrified for both herself and her animals. I don’t blame her. In the islands where the hurricane has already hit, 15-foot waves have washed children out to sea, not to mention many pets.

A good number of people on Facebook are showing maps with Mar Del Lego, Fearless Leader’s golf course, urging the hurricane to hit there. I find this type of humor is awful. Even if the storm headed directly to D.C., Fearless Leader would be in Air Force One getting his ass out of the way. But Mar Del Lego has many common people working and living there. I’m sure they will face horrible conditions.

Frankly, my lifetime has seen quite enough weather issues. I’ve been in many hurricanes including the “three furies” of 1954 when Carol, Hazel and Edna hit New Jersey hard within 10 days. The last one, Edna, knocked a tree through our roof. I’ve been in a tornado in New Jersey and at Ft. Knox, KY. I was in the path and eye of Gloria right after we moved to Long Island and had no power for two weeks – on Long Freakin’ Island. A few years ago, my trailer was just outside of Tampa when tropical storms shook it like it was a pair of dice. A few miles away, a trailer park was completely demolished. It was also buried in a massive blizzard that dumped 4 feet of snow on it in Wall, South Dakota. The town couldn’t open its emergency shelter because the snow had drifted so high that they couldn’t open the doors. A nearby motel had drifts cover the entire first floor. People were trapped in their rooms for more than 24 hours. And Interstate 90 was closed for five days due to drifting snow. My memories of the blizzard were part of a book that was published the next year Tens of thousands of cattle perished, as did about a thousand bison (buffalo).

Yeah, I’ve had enough. Even the threat of a hurricane puts me into the “get out of Dodge NOW” mode.

Facebook has a live feed of CNN’s storm coverage. I’m writing this about 5 p.m. and the storm isn’t expected to hit land for several hours. But Lord help those who are in its path.

Sept. 11

This day, like Dec. 7, 1941, marks a day that also lives in infamy. There have been other dates that have shaken my generation, mostly November 22, 1963. But today is extraordinary for me because I was in New York City that day. I was teaching at a middle school in the Bronx. I’ve posted blogs about what I experienced, but what I will say is that looking towards Yankee Stadium from a third floor window, we saw smoke and it appeared that the stadium was erupting. It was, of course, the World Trade Center.

I was torn between spending the morning at ground zero listening to the names. Being there is something on my “bucket” list but I had to make decisions. Before actually leaving, I had to go and deposit a check. I had to drive about 10 miles in the wrong direction because it at was the only credit union that is in the same network as my credit union. Otherwise, I would have to go to Long Island.

And so, after a short trip East, I began my westward journey. Stop number one was Columbia, NJ, where there is a truck stop off I-80. Gas in New Jersey has always been cheaper than in Pennsylvania, so I filled up. But the difference is much smaller than it used to be since New Jersey added another 23 cents to its gas tax.

But I also decided to do a little sightseeing on my route. So I decided to go over to the Delaware River at Kittanny Point. It’s along the Delaware River just before on crossing over into Pennsylvania. This place is often called the Delaware Water Gap, a place where the river has carved deeply through the Pocono Mountains and Jersey Hills. A portion on the Pennsylvania side was blasted back to accommodate railroad trains. As a young man, I thought it would be pretty cool to climb that cliff. 
The Delaware Water Gap borders New Jersey and Pennsylvania. I frequently went through the area on canoe trips when I was much younger. Once, the group I was with actually camped out under the nearby bridge that crosses the river. 

Fortunately, never having an opportunity to do so overcame my complete lack of climbing training and my early suicide leanings. But it is still a pretty place and every time I pass through I enjoy the beauty. And so, a few minutes were taken for a photo. I think I took most of the photos today to share on Facebook so people could share this road trip.

After a few moments of enjoying the solitude and the sound of the water, it was time to get back in the car and make the crossing. Right into the Pocono vacation region. Now my memories of this area have much to do with my life circa 1974. For a while I worked in the mountains photographing honeymooners at the area’s famous couple’s resorts. I remember taking the first wife horseback riding. And the second one went clubbing with me one extended weekend. But that was a long time ago. I drove along State Highway 611 and realized the region was no longer the same. In Bartonsville, there was a truck stop that served great lamb stew. It isn’t there any more. How can you bulldoze a truck stop where there is so much trailer traffic, especially when there are no full service rest stops in New Jersey? Bartonsville also had a great Holiday Inn where I once had a great steak dinner. It’s now a Howard Johnson motel and the bar remains, but not the restaurant.

I drove a few more miles into Mt. Pocono. Once a small village, it was impossible to find the photo studio I worked out of. The town is full of strip malls and a few big box stores. A part of my past has been trampled by commerce.

Driving further into the state, I stopped at Hickory Run State Park. This place also holds many memories. The first time I was there was in 1967. I had decided to go wherever my whim would take me. I camped there for a single afternoon before I accidently cut my hand with a brand new but dull hatchet. Who knew that I needed to sharpen it first? Anyhow, that vacation ended with me heading back home to my hometown hospital with my tail between my legs for a couple of stitches. Other trips have been far more enjoyable. The next year my friend Bill and I did some tent camping for a week. It was then we discovered the park’s main attraction, Boulder Field. Boulder field is where a glacier finally stopped coming south during the ice age. The field littered with boulders for miles.
Boulder Field at Hickory Run State Park is the result of where an ice-age glacier stopped moving and melted. I forgot how long a n unpaved rocky road it was to get there. 



Other times, I have brought my family there and, about five years ago, Emily. It is a place of many memories for me. But one thing I did not remember was the extended drive to reach the field. My GPS described it as an “unpaved road” and it was fifteen miles of rocky roads to get there and back. I sort of feel funny about haven taken three women I loved to the same place, but it is a place that is unique and majestic. I was quite pleased to see that the graffiti that was on the boulders when I was last there has been cleaned up.

I was there, thank God, all by myself when my first bout of diarrhea happened. I won’t describe what happened, but suffice it to say that I had to stand naked in the field while I cleaned up and changed my clothing.

Anyhow, it was a single incident and I managed to continue my journey cleaned up.

The next stop was Bellefonte, in the heart of Appalachia. In 1975, I became the editor of a weekly newspaper. It was a good gig while it lasted, but the paper just didn’t have the financial backing to save it. I looked at the office where I worked and the apartment building where I lived. My son, John, was probably conceived in that building.


Bellefonte is French for “beautiful fountain, and there is a stream that runs through the town. I stopped and photographed it, remembering how I once covered kayak races down the waterfalls and into the town on a stormy day when waves were quick to tip races over.
Bellefonte, PA was named after this stream which runs through the center of down. The name is French for "beautiful fountain. I was the editor of the local weekly newspaper there in the mid -1970s. and sometimes photographed kayak races that began on the top of the falls. In springtime, the melting snow for the mountains made the stream quite difficult to transit. It is found at Talleyrand Park, the outdoor hub of the town where many activities and family reunions are held. 



Leaving town, I went by the county courthouse. When I lived there, a teenage rite of passage occurred every Friday and Saturday night as cars cruised around the town square yelling at one another and hopes of getting lucky filled air. I suppose it was just like the California town portrayed in the “American Graffiti” movie. 
On ka small-town Saturday night, the teens went crusin' around the square surrounding the Bellefonte courthouse. It was like a scene straight out of "American Grafitti" which was released a year earlier.. If the name or the scene is remotely familiar to you, this is also the site of the Penn State football sex scandal trials which began in 2011.

If you look at it and have a vague memory of seeing it once before, you may have. It was the site of the trials involving the Penn State football sex scandal from a decade before. I remember seeing the news showing television vans around the square. Frankly, the town does not have much parking and I wonder how it dealt with the media circus. State College, the town where the university is located, is next to Bellefonte and on a football game day, it’s nearly impossible to get through town due to traffic heading to Beaver Stadium.

It was getting dark and my memories were more than I could write down. I remember photographing lots of “country” events such as a fire department bar-b-que and a sandwich sale by the high school band. I regularly went to the animal shelter to show a “pet of the week” for adoption. Once, I brought the ex and I had to practically tear a couple of kittens from her hands. She wanted me to adopt them.

And then there was the Grange Fair. It’s basically a county fair, but hundreds of people camp there during the 10 days it is held. It’s like a giant family reunion (of which there are many in that region). I had to do a special Grange Fair Edition and walked around handing out copies to each tent. I also had my own tent at our exhibit to camp in.

Night fell and I drove away. I always thought I had unfinished business there, but realized it was so long ago and far away that there was no more business. The newspaper was no more and it was more than three decades since I knew the people there. I'm sure many of them are dead. 

I got through the 315 miles of Pennsylvania and onto the Ohio Turnpike. The Turnpike is actually a merger of I-90 and I-80 and is a toll road both in Ohio and Indiana. I managed to get through three of the many rest stops in Ohio before pulling in and sleeping. I was on a fairly tight budget, especially since Emily did not come along and share the costs. In my travels, I have often slept in truck stops and rest stops by simply climbing into the travel trailer I was hauling. This time I was sleeping in the car though. To save on food, I had bought several cans of Chunky soup and had them for dinners. I tried to avoid the fast food of the truck stops, and I made it a habit of eating at Perkins when I could. They have a nice senior citizen menu, though I wish they hadn’t taken meatloaf off the menu.

Sept. 12
This is a day with nothing to do but drive and stop for rest. After I awoke, I made it two rest stops (perhaps 60 miles?) and was so tired I took a nap. So I really didn’t begin to drive until the early afternoon. One of the decisions I made was to avoid I-90 after the tolls ended. It heads to Chicago and I wanted to avoid the traffic. I figured I would pass through during the evening rush. I’ve been in Chicago a few times on business and my son went to college nearby. I couldn’t stand the traffic, no matter what the time. And so, I vowed to stay on I-80 as I passed through Ohio, Indiana and into Illinois. Naturally, I got lost on another interstate highway and it took me about an hour of going through heavy traffic in the now dark as I found my way back. I then pressed through Illinois and across the Mississippi River into Iowa where after about 13 hours of driving somewhere around 800 miles with many rest stops, I ran out of steam and fell asleep at a rest stop. In case you haven’t guessed, sleeping in a car can be quite uncomfortable, especially for someone like myself who does a lot tossing and turning. I woke up often and couldn’t really get a good sleep. I keep on thinking that the mattress in my long-gone travel trailer would feel soooooo good. That was a great mattress. It lasted me through six years and five different trailers. It was even better after a friend bought me one of those foam toppings. But now, I kept on waking up cramped and needing to go to the bathroom.

My fitful sleep finally ended with me opening my eyes sometime in the morning. I have parked in front of a box of beautiful white flowers and I realize that this rest stop has a theme for the local area. In this case, corn. Iowa is basically a prairie state, as are most of the states west of the Mississippi River and east of the Rocky Mountains. Corn is the major agricultural product of these states along with cattle and hay to feed the cattle.
Breakfast was simple, a bagel, V-8 juice and some peanut butter. Alas, I sometimes have eaten fast food. I have decided that French fries are a major cause of my bowel issues and I may also have a problem with milk. Having recently purchased three boxes of Cheerios while on sale, that could be a problem. I suppose when I return, I’ll find a food pantry for them.

And so, to paraphrase Lewis and Clark, I proceeded on. You have to understand that when I say most of Iowa is corn country, I mean it. I traveled through endless miles of corn fields.

Somewhere about midway through the state, my be- damned GPS advised me to take a northern route. Now my plan had always been to go the way I did before, namely along I-80 to I-29 on the western end of Iowa that would lead me into Sioux Falls. I was looking forward to driving along the Missouri River between Iowa and Nebraska along I-29 as I made my final part of the trip.

But the GPS had other ideas and I. decided, what the hell? At least I would see a different part of the country. So I turned north. A little way north I realized I was near where they shot the “Field of Dreams” movie. You have to understand that this film’s ending always, always, always leaves me in tears and blubbering for at least an hour. For those who aren’t familiar with the movie, this Iowa farmer is told to build a baseball field in the middle of his corn. The ghosts of many famous ballplayers come to play there including, at the end, the farmer’s father. The father is young and vital, unlike the time when the farmer knew him. They were estranged for many years and wind up having a catch. I vividly remember the games of catch my father and I had. You see, before I was born, he was injured in an auto accident. His arm was badly damaged and was permanently set into a position as if he was wearing a sling. He could not bend his elbow. Yet despite this disability, he managed to have catches with me, often dropping the ball. I never realized what was happening until after he died and the thought of once again playing catch with him, especially as a whole person, brings me to a crying binge. Even as I write this. My eyes are tearing up.

I plugged it into my GPS and discovered it would take me 200 miles out of my way. The day was already in mid-afternoon so I continued onward. Perhaps if I did not have the stress of needing to renew my license by my birthday in a few days, I would have made the side trip. Maybe next time, though frankly I doubt if I could handle another trip of thousands of miles.

And so, I continued to head north, waiting for whatever highway would bring me west into Sioux Falls. I suddenly realized the damn GPS had actually taken me into Minnesota and the I-90 I had avoided. I was actually closer to Minneapolis than Sioux Falls.

At least I knew where I was and about two more hours of driving brought me into the Red Roof motel in Sioux Falls. I was very tired from the driving and also from the frustration of not going the way I planned. But after checking in, I calmed down and realized this can be the way life is. I didn’t enjoy the unplanned moments and shame on me.

The first night was free as a result of Emily’s joining the Red Roof rewards program when we vacationed in Virginia and Ohio last year. I paid for a second night as well. By now, I was sick of eating out of the grocery bag and went to the nearby Perkins restaurant for dinner. They have a number of really good senior meals, though I miss the fact they removed the meatloaf from the senior menu. Perkins does great baking. One of their specialties is a no-sugar-added wildberry pie and I took home a slice for dessert.

And then I went to sleep in a bed for the first time in days. Yet I still kept waking up. Half the time I thought I was awake and the other half I thought I was dreaming. My mind would go off on trips completely unrelated to either being awake or whatever I was dreaming. Still, it was better than sleeping in the car. But when I awoke it was nearly noon.

September 10
It’s a day to take care of business. I have to renew my license. But before I would go to do so, I decided to pick up the mail from my mail forwarding company. There, I was told, for the second time, that I would need a birth certificate to renew the license. But they were absolutely wrong. The card I got from the DMV said it wasn’t needed. I also got a birthday card from the governor that day with a reminder to renew my license. That card did not say I needed a birth certificate either. Yet, they insisted they were right.

They weren’t. But I was glad that when I got to the DMV that while I didn’t need a birth certificate, I did need mail from my mail forwarding company to confirm that I did, in fact, get my mail there. The only other ID I needed was my old license and a receipt from the motel. But there was one thing I had to do. And that was passing an eye exam. And I was barely able to do so after about six attempts. I explained that when I returned I had to see a retinal specialist and then was having cataract surgery and the woman kept on giving me additional chances. I knew my eyesight was having problems but I didn’t realize how bad it was. I realized later in the day that I couldn’t read many street signs or exit signs on the highway. I am hoping that certain problems will stop. My retinal doctor told me that the problem with my retinas could be reversed if I got my sugars under control, and I have since the day after. But I am, frankly, a potential danger to others. On the way home, I realized that the glare of the sun made it harder for me to see. It was difficult to read my GPS when it used smaller type to indicate a direction. I did far better at night.

But I remained seriously annoyed at my mail forwarding company. When I originally started to use them in 2011, they had different ownership and a small staff. Their location was in the heart of the city. Now, under new ownership, they have moved about as far out of the city as you can get without actually leaving town. It’s kind of like moving from downtown Manhattan to the Queens-Nassau border in New York City. You’re still in the city, but not really. Between that and the incorrect information, I was peeved. I suppose it was because I had driven more than 1,300 miles to do take care of business. The old company was a bastion of information about South Dakota rules. The new company, not so much. When I called them to tell them they were wrong, they told me it was not their responsibility to know about the laws. The old owners did to the point where they even registered me to vote.

Now all this is trivial. Everything worked out in the end with a minimum of aggravation. But I simply couldn’t let go of the aggravation. The only person it hurts is myself, but I really need time, perhaps too much time, to calm down many times.

I then went to register my car. In South Dakota, you get your license from the state, but you register your vehicles with the county treasurer. I had not re-registered the car since I purchased it. Until last December, the county would not accept anything but cash or a local check to register the car. I tried to go on line to do it but, after putting in a password, all I got was a black screen. Anyhow, I was delighted to find I only had to pay about $80 instead of the $300 I had anticipated. Car registrations are based on the vehicle weight and there was quite a difference between my Dodge Ram and my Ford Focus. I also forgot the last time I paid to register the truck I also registered the trailer and both cost me more than $300.

It was interesting to see people outside of both offices urging me to sign petitions. I wasn’t sure if I was registered to vote – I was – at the old mailing address before the mail forwarding company moved. At the DMV, they wanted me to sign one opposing “government corruption.” It turned out it meant you had to show photo ID to vote and I am opposed to that. There are many people, who don’t want, or need, a driver’s license. Take the people who live in New York City. With mass transit covering five boroughs, why would you need to drive? And who wants to go through the hassle of getting a state photo ID when you have to show a birth certificate and proof of residence? To me, voter fraud is a non-issue despite what Fearless Leader said during the Presidential campaign. And if some illegal aliens managed to vote in the last election, good for them. They live and work here too.

The other petition was much more interesting. A stoner, who was definitely high, wanted me to sign one making marijuana legal. I told him that, as an elder in my church, I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to sign it, though I was sympathetic to his cause.

So anyway, my motor vehicle issues completely straightened out, left me an evening to sightsee. There is only one place I wanted to go, Falls Park. Sioux Falls was named after the waterfalls along the Big Sioux River that runs through the heart of town. They are beautiful at any time, but especially at night when they are illuminated. During the day, Falls Park is much like New York City’s Central Park on a much smaller scale. It’s a place to jog, sit and relax, make out, picnic and more. I’ve even seen a few weddings performed in front of the falls. Every Fourth of July, the town holds a free bar-b-que picnic for residents.

At night, the falls are lit up creating a surreal scene. Photographing them requires a slow shutter speed and you can obtain a flow of motion from the water.

In addition, the park has some historical significance. The Lewis and Clark expedition explored the area and in the 19th century, the falls were used for manufacturing and an electric generator.

I choose to live in Northern New Jersey because its where I am near people I care for and it is the area I grew up in. I feel safe here after a lifetime of personal turbulence usually caused by my own actions. But if I didn’t feel that way, Sioux Falls is certainly a good place to live. Housing and food are cheap, and so is rent. There is no state income tax and auto insurance rates are low too. The place has all the shopping you could want and there are plenty of cultural events. The downtown area has been revitalized and filled with restaurants and interesting shops.

One of the main industries in South Dakota is tourism. It has Badlands National Park, Mt. Rushmore, Wild West towns, Native American reservations and some truly wonderful state parks. And so, the sales tax is raised during tourist season (Memorial Day to Labor Day) from five to seven percent.

Anyhow, my visit to Falls Park ended, I headed back to the motel for a decent night’s sleep as I realized there would be quite a few more days of sleeping in my car ahead.

Sept. 15
It’s my birthday. I am now 70 years old. There is a significant difference between my last landmark birthday at age 65 and today. Five years ago, I had a wonderful celebration with my son and his family, especially my granddaughter. I was volunteering at an Oregon State Park along the Columbia River Gorge. My granddaughter was crazy about trains and we had many of them going past the park as part of the Santa Fe line. She had a ball and then we went to a railroad themed restaurant for dinner. I remember my granddaughter ordered just a single pancake for her meal, but when it arrived, it was the size of a small pizza and packed with fruit.

This year, I am alone – by choice I suppose – as I had to make the trip to renew my license. But there is a difference between being alone and lonely. And I was pleased to discover dozens of birthday wishes on Facebook. In our age of technology, I suppose social media has replaced the analog concept of sending birthday and holiday cards. But that’s part of the change in our culture. A lot of people wish we could go back to earlier times when things were “simpler” but in reality, those times had challenges of their own. And no matter how much people want to return to those times, it isn’t going to happen.

A lot of Trump’s supporters wanted jobs back in the auto and coal industries to return. But they won’t. Our vehicles are built by robots, not humans. And coal is stripped from the ground now. People rarely go into tunnels anymore.

But I can relate to those people. Much of my time over the last decade has been a personal exploration of my middle and high school years. We’ve had 50th year reunions and the ability to communicate with others. Why do I do this? Because there was a time when I felt safe, secure and part of something and then my life turned into chaos. I have contacted many people I knew from that era as a touchstone. I have learned about the lies I believed for so many years and to accept the truths. If I were to describe myself today, I would be a food-addicted diabetic whose savings have disappeared. I am mildly bi-polar and that has led me to problems. On the other side of the coin, I am a caring person who enjoys being of service to others. I can live with that.

Anyhow, I’m heading south on I-29 with a destination of I-80, not I-90. I am steadfast in this and will not divert from my plans no matter what “Nagatha,” my name for the GPS, suggests.

The ride starts out quite nicely. The weather is great. It’s going into the upper 80ºs with a slight breeze. It is a longer drive south than I remember and I decide to stop in Vermillion. It is the home of the University of South Dakota and I saw a very interesting piece of sculpture located there when I browsing Facebook. As I pulled into town, I spotted a Wal-Mart. Unlike in New Jersey, many Wal-Marts have auto service centers. I needed an oil change. I was already several hundred miles past due.

So I drove up to the door and seeing no other cars, I figured it would take about an hour. I shopped inside and also ate lunch. I waited in the waiting room and checked outside after well over an hour and couldn’t find my car. Assuming it was finished, I went to the counter only to discover I had about another hour to go. Unlike when I ran the auto service center at a couple of Wal-Marts about a decade ago, they don’t line up the cars, but rather park them. I still had a few cars ahead of me so I pulled out. It was a waste of time and I was unable to find the sculpture I wanted to see.

Back on the road again, I continued to head south to Omaha. I had expected to be able to pull over to photograph the Missouri, but road construction blocked the side of the road and I was unable to do so.

I began to see signs for Omaha. I had passed the city many times. In 2012, I visited Newcastle, Nebraska, which was across the Missouri from Vermillion, which was a pleasant surprise. I had merely wanted to cross the state border to claim I had been there, but I discovered a geographic change. In that area, South Dakota is flat, corn country while Newcastle is hilly and you can see much cattle farming. As I thought of that, I finally realized that Omaha had a famous product – it’s steaks. There is a national company called Omaha Steaks, but I also remember the second episode from The West Wing television series where some team from the University of Nebraska visited the White House and the president had a fit because his secretary hid the steaks they brought him under doctor’s orders. It’s amazing what trivia one remembers.

Anyhow, I crossed the Iowa border and then drove over the bridge into Omaha and saw a sign pointing me to the “old market district.” When I reached it, I asked the GPS to give me the names of steakhouses and the closest one was Sullivan’s. I drove up to it and the place looked interesting, taking up the entire main floor of an office building. I entered and it had a distinct Gay 90s feel to it. In front was a picture of John L. Sullivan, the boxing champion from 1882 to 1892. The restaurant was named in his honor, but he never owned it.

As I write this, I suddenly realize that the term “Gay 90s” had a tremendous difference in 1990 than 1890. I don’t believe I’ve heard the term in years. The Gay '90s term was used in popular culture to describe American social life in the1890s. No, not the "gay" you were thinking of, nor the '90s you were thinking of for that matter. However, there is a nightclub in Minneapolis featuring drag queens that wears that moniker.

I ordered a New York strip and it turned to be quite good. Perfectly spiced and grilled, it made an excellent birthday feast. It wasn’t the best steak I’ve ever had—that honor goes to my father who cooked porterhouses in a gas broiler. But it still ranked right up there.

After dinner, I asked the waitress if there was a park along the river where I could see the Missouri. It turned out that the city’s Heartland of America Park had an excellent view. And speaking of the 1890s, there was a world’s fair there in 1898.

It was starting to get dark and fearful of getting lost, I trekked back into Iowa in daylight and began heading east on I-80 again.

Once I was on the route I wanted, I pulled into a rest stop with a Lewis and Clark theme. The expedition traveled through the area in 1805.

After that, the endless miles of cornfields began and I started to relax and enjoy the road more with less traffic. In addition to improved vision, drivers tend to be calmer. It is rare for cars to drive around 80-90 mph and most of them manage to stick near the speed limit. Truckers also tend to be more polite. They don’t tailgate, even in construction zones where there is only one lane open. I tend to drive long hours on days when I am going to sleep at either a truck stop or rest stop. Some states on my route, especially Iowa and Ohio, have many stops no more than 40 miles apart. Others have few. Along I-95 which runs along the Atlantic coast, most states have just one stop that double as welcome centers along state borders. But this route is more heavily populated and travelled. There are truck stops, motels and fast food restaurants at many exits.

So I drove to the Mitchellville rest stop, near the middle of Iowa and pulled over to get my sleep. I tossed and turned in discomfort but discovered that I am more comfortable if I lowered my seat completely.

About 3 a.m., I needed to go to the bathroom and I discovered the seat would not go up. It was stuffy and the windows would not go down. My battery was dead. I pushed my way out the door, took care of business and went to get my jumper cables out of the trunk. No deal. The trunk wouldn’t open because the lock was electronic. There was no key.

I did manage to open the hood and couldn’t find the battery. WTF? Then I realized it was under a cover. I looked and saw there was a lot of corrosion on one of the terminals. It was obvious I needed help.

As part of my auto insurance, GEICO includes road assistance. I called them and explained the situation. I’m in the middle of nowhere and it’s early – very early—in the morning and the few companies GEICO works with are not answering the phone. GEICO is also having trouble locating me. The weather app on my phone is telling them I’m in Mitchelleville. There is a sign on the rest stop indicating it is rest stop number 11. But they can’t figure out exactly where I am because there are no mile markers. We finally figure things out when I realized there was a “you are here” map on the rest stop wall. From there we figured out the exits.

And around 4 a.m. someone finally answered the phone and my rescue was on its way. In fact the name of the company coming was called Rescue Towing. Despite all the conversation with GEICO, the tower wasn’t told the right place. The driver passed right by the rest stop and went to the next exit, where GEICO told him the car was. He called me and I told him where I really was and he soon arrived. He cleaned off the terminal and successfully jumped the car. I was back in business.

While I was letting the car run, I opened the trunk, only to discover I had no jumper cables. I had left them with Emily’s car when she bought it a year ago.

I looked toward the east and saw a very interesting phenomenon. It was a couple of hours before dawn and the sun’s rays were reflecting off a cloud. As I drove on, the sunrise was beautiful, but brief, as the cloud began blocking the sun.

Sept. 16
It is a Saturday. I’ve been driving into the early morning afraid to stop at a rest stop and turn the car off. But finally my bladder gets the best of me and I pull over somewhere outside of Iowa City. And giant bees suddenly surround me. Actually, they look like people who are wearing clothes with giant yellow and black stripes. More people emerge wearing bright yellow clothing accented by black spots. And suddenly I realize that they are rooting for Hawkeyes.

It’s college football day in the Big 10 and people are gathering for the game about 20 miles away. I approach them and say, “I presume you aren’t Cyclone fans.” They laugh and I tell them I live near another Big 10 powerhouse, Rutgers, and they laugh even harder. Anyhow we discuss traffic and they tell me it is too early in the day for I-80 to start having heavy traffic.
(For the uninformed: Hawkeyes are the name of the University of Iowa’s sports teams, whose colors are yellow and black. Cyclones are the name of Iowa State University’s team – Iowa’s rival though they belong to different conferences. Rutgers joined the Big 10 a few years ago and rarely win, having neither a football nor a basketball win in the conference last year.)

I expected to roll through Illinois and Indiana that day and sleep at a rest stop somewhere in mid-Ohio. But exhaustion was getting to me. I looked at a map and realized the westernmost town of any size along I-80-90 was Toledo. I had slept at a Red Roof Inn because of the free night from Emily’s rewards plan. I called her and asked her to see if she could get a room in Toledo for me. There were three Red Roofs in town and she got a fantastic rate of just $33 per night. I plugged the location into the GPS and found myself there around 10 p.m. With that rate, combined with my exhaustion, I decided to spend an extra night there.

Sept. 17
I woke up around 10 a.m. and tried to figure out what to do for the day. There was a nearby Wal-Mart and I drove over to see if I could get the oil change. They said that would take about 35 minutes and I would be taken right away. I asked them to also check the battery. They said it was working fine. While they were working on the car, I got a sandwich and bought some tee shirts. By the time I was finished, so was the service people… what a difference!

I headed back to the motel and picked up a brochure about local Toledo attractions. Still tired, I decided to lie down and watch NFL football. The Detroit and Cleveland teams were the local broadcasts and I dozed off. I woke up needing to go to the bathroom. I barely made it as I was hit with explosive diarrhea and I spent many bouts on the toilet throughout the day and night before finally collapsing around 2 a.m.

Sept. 18
I’m still weak from the diarrhea attacks from yesterday but I don’t want to spend another day in Toledo. To begin with, the motel room was barely acceptable. It was cramped and had neither a microwave, nor a refrigerator. I drove into Pennsylvania and was less than 250 miles from home but I just wasn’t able to go all the way despite only driving a few hundred miles. The diarrhea had ended, thank God, but the effects hadn’t. I stopped at the welcome center rest stop and grabbed one of those magazines filled with motel discount coupons. I wound up in Dubois and got a room at the Hampton Inn. What a difference! The room was large and filled with amenities – refrigerator and microwave, coffee maker, ironing board and an incredibly comfortable bed with delightful linens. I watched some Monday Night Football but my Giants, alas, continued their woeful ways. I fell asleep and had the best rest I’ve had in a long time.

Sept. 19
It is the last day of the journey. I had a great breakfast at the hotel, with scrambled eggs and ham with cheese. I grabbed a bagel with cream cheese for lunch and was on my way. The miles rolled along as I passed the places I stopped to visit on my way out. By early afternoon I was in New Jersey. I had been having problems with the car ever since the jump start. The car’s clock and calendar were locked onto the time of the jump start and I was unable to reset them. At the dealer where I have the car serviced, I learned that the battery had to be disconnected to properly reset the time and calendar. They also cleaned the terminal and added a felt pad and sprayed an anticorrosion paint onto the terminal. I reached home and immediately put my laundry on.

Emily was at work and I left a text for her letting her know I was home and asking her to go to dinner with me after work. We met at a nice Columbian restaurant we had wanted to try and were delighted with the wonderful meal. After the meal, I stopped at my church for the Tuesday night Bible study. I returned home and watched NCIS New Orleans before turning in.

Everything was back to routine, and I was glad for it.