As I age, I tend to speculate on how much decisions I have made, which seemed small at the time, affect the person I am today, Like it or not, it was what it is.
For example, I blew my knee when playing freshman baseball. Along with most of the other sports, I couldn’t play any more. I tried to play football as a sophomore and junior, but the knee just didn’t hold up. I was on the swim team and for two years my knee rattled while I was swimming, but it got better in my senior year.
We had a mediocre freshman baseball team. Sometimes we were stomped by scores of 17-3. I was a catcher. I had never pitched in my life. But the coach had me warm up to mop up a few innings. After watching me, he didn’t put me in the game.
But two years later, the school’s baseball program got an incredible boost as we got players from the township surrounding our town. One of them was named Chip and he was an incredible pitcher. When I was a senior he led us to the state Group IV championship. The next year, the team won the Greater Newark Championship, which combined all the groups in the state and was the ‘real’ champion.
Due to my swimming, I became involved with many YMCA activities. The athletic director recommended me for the Y’s Springfield College. I was accepted, but couldn’t afford to go there. In the meantime, Chip went there and has the school record for most shutouts.
Two years after I graduated, my knee was somewhat better and I tried out for the County College baseball team. I played in a couple of games, but my knee didn’t hold up.
Although I saw Chip hurl a 1-hitter against Wayne H.S., I never really knew him until recently. We get into deep political discussions on Facebook and while I’m on the other side of the political spectrum, we are one of the few who respect one another’s views. And as we came to know one another a little bit, we realized that I might have caught him had I decided to go to Springfield.
At the same time, it was at CCM that I began my career as a journalist.
***
Which brings me to another topic. I was somewhat of a loner in high school. But one night, our chorus did a show for a local civic club at a large hotel. On the bus back to the school, I was sitting next to a girl and we began to talk and wound up holding hands. It turned out that she lived around the corner and we agreed I would pick her up and walk with her to school.
The next morning, I met her father when I picked her up. He wasn’t very pleasant to me. I personally thought he was drunk. And there occurred a decision that changed my life. Prior to meeting her father, I had thought about skipping school and taking her to my mother’s apartment while she was working. I was thinking about a necking session and I think she was thinking the same. But I was also thinking beyond my hormones. She was kind, sweet, caring and unassuming. In those days, it wasn't unusual to get married in our late teens after high school. And if she became pregnant, I would have missed the draft.
But both my parents were alcoholics and I decided I couldn’t handle another one in my life. Hindsight is sometimes too sharp. I had come to realize that I never gave the girl, who obviously was attracted to me, a chance. I ignored her the rest of the year. It wasn’t hard as we shared no classes. At the end of the school year, we exchanged yearbooks to sign and she wrote about the romantic night on the bus. It was the last day of school and as I read it, felt like the asshole I truly was. She was pretty, but she was also kind and caring. I wanted to be with her, but did not have the wisdom or courage to face her father again.
A couple of years later, I was in a corporate bowling league. Early in the season, I discovered her working the snack counter at the ally. We talked a small bit about nothing of substance and I had to return to my team. That night, I scored the highest game I ever had, a 216. And it held up throughout the year to win me a trophy,
As I went home that night, I thought about her and wondered if there was still a chance for romance. I spent the entire week trying to figure out what to say to her. But she wasn’t there. She had quit her job.
The night in the bus happened in January. Had I not acted like a jerk, I might have taken her to prom.
But here’s the thing: I’ve been living with the girl I did go to the prom with for five years, and we had been dating for another five years on and off while I travelled around the country.
And so, like I said, the decisions we make can dramatically change our lives. . . .or not!
