Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Raw Nerves



My favorite author is the late Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988), the dean of American science fiction writers.

He is best known for his “Stranger In A Strange Land,” the epic about an earthman who is raised by Martians and sent to earth to discover our lifestyles. It became a classic among hippies and other counter-culture residents of the 1960s. At many universities, “Stranger” is required reading for freshman English.   But the bulk of his body of work was putting smart people into difficult futuristic situations and showing how they coped and thrived.

Anyhow, I was in the Hawthorne store of Portland’s famous Powell’s Book Store over the weekend and I came across a collection of six of his short stories originally printed in 1961. It was an ancient paperback with aged and delicate paper that was browned and brittle. But it was also a treasure of short stories I had never read and well worth the $4.95 they wanted, despite the original 75-cents cover price.

One of the stories, “The Man Who Travelled In Elephants,” affected me in a way I had not anticipated. Only 14 pages, it left me in tears and my nerves were raw and frayed.

It is the story of John, a travelling salesman and his wife, Martha. When they first married, they loved to travel together servicing John’s sales route. The road to travel together all over the country and the road became their way of life. It is sort of like my recent travels.

They spent their lives together exploring and enjoying this lifestyle and gathering a collection of imaginary friends and one real dog named Bindlestiff. When John retired, the couple chose to stay on the road, but they couldn’t just become vagabonds. They chose to travel in elephants and spent the rest of Martha’s years doing “research” all over the country. They visited every fair, exposition and other community events they could find. They loved parades!

As the story begins, John is alone and missing both Martha and Bindlestiff. He no longer drives, but takes a bus as he continues the lifestyle, imagining he is sharing these moments with his beloved wife and pet. He is on the bus to “The All American Exposition.” The bus has a minor crash, but nobody is hurt and another bus quickly takes the passengers to the exposition.

When they reach their destination, John beholds wonders from all the places he has ever visited. He encounters a dog, a dead ringer for Bindlestiff, who spends the story running back and forth between John and a woman who he can’t quite see as his glasses were broken in the bus accident.

By now, you and readers know that John is clearly in heaven and he will be reunited with his beloved Martha. This is an amazing concept for Heinlien who loathed the beliefs of organized religions.

John gets to the “Big Parade” and it displays the best from every town he has ever visited. At the end of the parade, there is a grand carriage being hauled by elephants. The parade’s grand marshal comes up to him on horseback and asks if he is “the man who travels in elephants?” John is then proclaimed the king of the parade and joins Martha and Bindlestiff in the carriage in a never-ending parade.

Those who know me probably don’t need to read any further to know how and why this story ripped my nerves to shreds. Someone told me the day I got the book that I still had raw nerves about the Ex. There is no doubt that my nerves are burning and bleeding after reading this story. I no longer have a “Martha.” She has found her new “John” and I really hope she is happy.

The story’s lifestyle is something that was my dream – and I had once hoped it was her’s. As I search for a new “Martha,” I can’t help but think what might have been, and I weep.

Yet I also wonder if I find a heaven like Heinlien’s. If God is so infinite, couldn’t he give each one of us something uniquely our own? Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished, or is it? Could it also be a form of Hell?

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.